Marriage is rarely perfect. Even the happiest and closest couples go through their ups and downs. But how do you know if this is an average “down” or if you should start getting your divorce proceedings started?
Before you panic about the state of your relationship, it’s best to look into how to save your marriage when you feel hopeless. Not all marriages are salvageable, but that doesn’t mean that you have to give up right away.
Keep reading for a few tips for saving your marriage.
Introspect
The first thing that you should do when it comes to trying to save your marriage is to practice introspection. Look within yourself to see if this is something that you really want to fix, and then see if you can identify specific problems (and whether or not you’re the one causing them).
What is it that makes you feel like your marriage is falling apart? Are you no longer intimate with your partner? Are you fighting constantly? Is this an abusive situation?
Consider your own part in the marriage. If you’ve lied, cheated, gotten aggressive, or even taken out your emotions on your spouse, these are key factors in the health of your marriage.
Try not to place blame on yourself or your partner, but consider the details of your situation before moving forward.
Have an Open Conversation
After you’ve done some contemplating, set up an open conversation with your partner. It’s helpful to do this in a comfortable place at a time when you’re both relaxed. Many people try to do this in the bedroom (but make sure to go to bed early).
Make sure that this conversation doesn’t feel aggressive to your partner or they may resist it.
Ask your partner about how they’re feeling. It’s likely that they’ve done some introspection on their own time, so this is a great time to talk about what each of you has discovered.
“Date” Each Other Again
One of the best things that you can do to save your marriage is to start dating each other again. Too often, couples get “comfortable” in their relationships and no longer try to romance each other once they’ve been married for a while.Β
Does this make sense? Shouldn’t you and your partner continue to date because that’s what brought you together?
Try having one date per week (if possible). These dates can even be at-home game nights or movie nights with just the two of you. Remember, this is for bonding.
Get Outside Help
Sometimes the struggle to avoid divorce is hard to handle alone. If you and your spouse are too frustrated to communicate or even think about going on dates together, it’s time to seek outside help.
Marriage help comes in several forms. You can look into relationship blogs, attend couple’s therapy, or even take classes. Try not to talk to friends and family members about this so you’re not putting your private troubles out for the world to see.
And That’s How You Do It
It’s hard to determine how to save your marriage when you feel hopeless. There’s no one “right way” to handle marriage struggles, and when you and your partner are struggling to interact at all, it seems like there’s no way out.
Try these tips to save your marriage and move beyond your troubles.
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