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How To Save Your Marriage When You Feel Hopeless

Modified on October 5, 2021 at 4:12 PM

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Marriage is rarely perfect. Even the happiest and closest couples go through their ups and downs. But how do you know if this is an average “down” or if you should start getting your divorce proceedings started? 

Before you panic about the state of your relationship, it’s best to look into how to save your marriage when you feel hopeless. Not all marriages are salvageable, but that doesn’t mean that you have to give up right away.

Keep reading for a few tips for saving your marriage.

Introspect

The first thing that you should do when it comes to trying to save your marriage is to practice introspection. Look within yourself to see if this is something that you really want to fix, and then see if you can identify specific problems (and whether or not you’re the one causing them).

What is it that makes you feel like your marriage is falling apart? Are you no longer intimate with your partner? Are you fighting constantly? Is this an abusive situation? 

Consider your own part in the marriage. If you’ve lied, cheated, gotten aggressive, or even taken out your emotions on your spouse, these are key factors in the health of your marriage. 

Try not to place blame on yourself or your partner, but consider the details of your situation before moving forward.

Have an Open Conversation

After you’ve done some contemplating, set up an open conversation with your partner. It’s helpful to do this in a comfortable place at a time when you’re both relaxed. Many people try to do this in the bedroom (but make sure to go to bed early).

Make sure that this conversation doesn’t feel aggressive to your partner or they may resist it. 

Ask your partner about how they’re feeling. It’s likely that they’ve done some introspection on their own time, so this is a great time to talk about what each of you has discovered. 

“Date” Each Other Again

One of the best things that you can do to save your marriage is to start dating each other again. Too often, couples get “comfortable” in their relationships and no longer try to romance each other once they’ve been married for a while. 

Does this make sense? Shouldn’t you and your partner continue to date because that’s what brought you together? 

Try having one date per week (if possible). These dates can even be at-home game nights or movie nights with just the two of you. Remember, this is for bonding. 

Get Outside Help

Sometimes the struggle to avoid divorce is hard to handle alone. If you and your spouse are too frustrated to communicate or even think about going on dates together, it’s time to seek outside help. 

Marriage help comes in several forms. You can look into relationship blogs, attend couple’s therapy, or even take classes. Try not to talk to friends and family members about this so you’re not putting your private troubles out for the world to see. 

And That’s How You Do It

It’s hard to determine how to save your marriage when you feel hopeless. There’s no one “right way” to handle marriage struggles, and when you and your partner are struggling to interact at all, it seems like there’s no way out.

Try these tips to save your marriage and move beyond your troubles.

For more helpful articles about family, relationships, and more, visit the rest of our site.

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Posted By The Fashionable Housewife
on October 5, 2021 at 4:12 PM
Filed Under: Relationships & Marriage
Tagged With: Marriage, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage relationship, relationship, relationship advice, relationship advice for women, relationships

About The Fashionable Housewife

Sarah-Jean Ballard is the Editor in Chief of The Fashionable Housewife blog and Founder of Fashionable Media. Married to a sexy Molecular Biologist, housewife, mom to 5, homeschooler, Certified Personal Nutritionist and entrepreneur who's mission is to help moms just like you look and feel GREAT! Other interests include dancing, yoga, positive intactivism, natural birth and breastfeeding support, babywearing, paleo & gluten-free cooking, and promoting an overall healthy lifestyle to all.

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Sarah-Jean Ballard

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You do not find a happy life. You make it. 

That’s the biggest lesson that grief has taught me. If I just wait around to be happy again, I’ll die sad. 

You don’t get through grief and come out the other side. That’s not how it works. You learn how to grow around it like a tree grows around a rock that’s in the way. You don’t wait for the rock to move. Cause it’s not gonna. 

Choose happy. And then make it happen. 

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8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favor 8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favorite. 

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The last 20 years with you have been my favorite years on this earth. ❤️ 

If I did anything right in my life, it was when I decided to give my heart to you.  You are my best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my rock, my everything. 

I love you.

#couplegoals #marriedlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #weddingday #marriagegoals #yourestilltheone
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This little guy always asks to help when he sees me cleaning the house, washing the floors, doing laundry, or emptying the dishwasher. That’s what I love about Montessori parenting - it allows kids to do  big jobs and in turn makes them eager to help! 

He was over the moon when we gave him the @lovevery floor mop that actually works! He uses it daily now. The mopping pad is machine washable and you can refill the fluid container on it. I usually just do water and a drop of essential oils because he loves it when everything smells clean! 😜 

Definitely recommend! If you want to grab this mop for your little helper, it’s in the Storyteller Play Kit from Lovevery for 3 year olds. 

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Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hol Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hole. 

Sometimes we outgrown relationships. Sometimes we realize someone else isn’t a good influence on our lives. Sometimes we realize we aren’t a good influence for someone else. Sometimes we need to let things go that aren’t good for us in order to grow. And that’s ok. 

Stop trying to sit at a table you are no longer welcome at. Just be yourself, focus on God, love your family and friends, and the right people will gravitate to you. ✌🏻 

#raisingsaints #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #selflovejourney #growingpains #selfcaresunday
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The “Steffi” in green are the perfect boots for ushering in spring weather with their delicious vintage leather and worn-in look right out of the box. I love the chunky lug soles and inside zippers to get them on and off easily. 

These are the boots you’ll want to wear again and again. And again. 

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Considering he was my 6th child, it's possible he would have been here by now. It’s been extra hard for me this week. 

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You do not find a happy life. You make it. 

That’s the biggest lesson that grief has taught me. If I just wait around to be happy again, I’ll die sad. 

You don’t get through grief and come out the other side. That’s not how it works. You learn how to grow around it like a tree grows around a rock that’s in the way. You don’t wait for the rock to move. Cause it’s not gonna. 

Choose happy. And then make it happen. 

#choosehappy #joyinthejourney #griefjourney #healingfromtrauma
8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favor 8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favorite. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, @daeinexplains 🥰

The last 20 years with you have been my favorite years on this earth. ❤️ 

If I did anything right in my life, it was when I decided to give my heart to you.  You are my best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my rock, my everything. 

I love you.

#couplegoals #marriedlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #weddingday #marriagegoals #yourestilltheone
Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍ Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍♀️

This little guy always asks to help when he sees me cleaning the house, washing the floors, doing laundry, or emptying the dishwasher. That’s what I love about Montessori parenting - it allows kids to do  big jobs and in turn makes them eager to help! 

He was over the moon when we gave him the @lovevery floor mop that actually works! He uses it daily now. The mopping pad is machine washable and you can refill the fluid container on it. I usually just do water and a drop of essential oils because he loves it when everything smells clean! 😜 

Definitely recommend! If you want to grab this mop for your little helper, it’s in the Storyteller Play Kit from Lovevery for 3 year olds. 

LlNK is in my bio to get FREE shipping! 💃🏼

#lovevery #loveverytoddler #loveverypartner #montessoriathome #montessoriplayroom #montessoritoddler
Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hol Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hole. 

Sometimes we outgrown relationships. Sometimes we realize someone else isn’t a good influence on our lives. Sometimes we realize we aren’t a good influence for someone else. Sometimes we need to let things go that aren’t good for us in order to grow. And that’s ok. 

Stop trying to sit at a table you are no longer welcome at. Just be yourself, focus on God, love your family and friends, and the right people will gravitate to you. ✌🏻 

#raisingsaints #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #selflovejourney #growingpains #selfcaresunday
When your toaster breaks from a power surge you ta When your toaster breaks from a power surge you take that as a sign that it’s time to upgrade! 🤪

It wasn’t hard to pick a new 4 slice toaster. As soon as I saw this one from @haden_usa I added it to my cart. I bought it from @lordandtaylor because it had the fastest shipping and I didn’t want to wait! 

No fancy electronics, screens, or extra features we don’t need. Just simple, straight forward functions and perfect results everytime. Plus it matches all my @cafeappliances too! 😂👍🏻

What do you think of this 4 slice toaster?! 

#toasters #kitchenappliances #kitchendesign #kitchendecor #whitekitchen #farmhousekitchen #farmhousestyle #whiteappliances
I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @en I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @enjoiya! 💃🏼 

The “Steffi” in green are the perfect boots for ushering in spring weather with their delicious vintage leather and worn-in look right out of the box. I love the chunky lug soles and inside zippers to get them on and off easily. 

These are the boots you’ll want to wear again and again. And again. 

Use my coupon code BALLARD20 to get 20% off your order! Find them on www.enjoiya.com

#leatherbooties #enjoiya #italianshoes #realmomstyle #momstyle #momstyletips
All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with the prices of eggs right now! 🤪 🐔 🥚 

Guess it’s ok to be a crazy chicken lady and have a homestead now! 🤣

#momlife #crazychickenlady #homesteadlife
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