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It’s Time to End It: 15 Signs Your Marriage Is Over

Modified on August 15, 2021 at 10:55 PM

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Are you trying to figure out the signs your marriage is over? Read this article to learn the top signs your marriage is over.

Have you lost the spark in your relationship? Have you tried all of the methods that you can think of to renew your marriage but to no avail? 

Are you trying to decide if it’s time to call it quits? What are the signs your marriage is over for good?

You’re not alone. Between 40 and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce in the United States. Not all divorces are bad, but it’s never a fun affair. 

While it’s best to try to work things out amicably and do everything possible to salvage the relationship with your former best friend, it’s not always possible. Sometimes, though, it’s hard to know what the right choice really is.

No one can know the right answer except for you, but here are a few signs that your marriage is over and the relationship might be coming to an end.

1. The Trust is Gone

Trust is a key part of any important relationship. If the trust has somehow been destroyed on either side (or worse, both) it’s incredibly difficult to repair that bond. 

This doesn’t have to be because of infidelity (though it certainly can be). If one partner is a compulsive liar, even for minor white lies, the other may lose faith in their ability to tell the truth. 

Before calling it quits, talk to each other about trust, and see if it can be repaired. Too often, trust issues turn into control issues. Those are even harder to smooth over.

2. Frequent Infidelity

Infidelity is remarkably common, but it doesn’t have to be a complete dealbreaker (though it may be). 

If one partner has severely crossed the boundaries of the other, there might be no coming back. It’s possible to work out infidelity and reassess boundaries to get to a healthy place, but both partners have to be committed to it. 

If one partner continues the infidelity after an attempt to repair the marriage, you definitely need to consider that your marriage is over.

3. Both Parties are Uninterested

If both parties are no longer interested in making the marriage work it might be a sign that the marriage is over. You can’t force the other person to cooperate with your efforts to save the marriage if they don’t want to.

This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Leaving a marriage that neither partner wants to be in can lead to a more amicable divorce. If neither party feels wounded by the dissolution of the relationship, the divorce might be easier. 

This isn’t always the case when pride and attachment get in the way, unfortunately. 

4. One Party Has Given Up

If one party has given up on the relationship entirely, you can’t make them change their minds and you probably realize your marriage is in trouble. 

That person might be you. If you know in your heart that you no longer have any interest in improving this marriage, it’s time to have a difficult conversation with your spouse. 

If it’s your partner who has lost interest, don’t force them to stay. Control isn’t the way to have a healthy relationship. Working on your marriage in counseling is healthy, but you can’t control your partner’s thoughts or behaviors. 

5. Counseling Won’t Work

When your marriage is on the rocks, talking to a marriage counselor is a great way to try to talk things out with a neutral 3rd party moderating the conversation.

This counselor might help you gain perspective or help you hash out problems that you may have felt uncomfortable working on one-on-one. 

When you’ve exhausted all other avenues, and even months of counseling doesn’t work, it might be time to accept that the marriage is over and contact a divorce lawyer. 

6. One Person Refuses to Work on Themself

Healthy interpersonal relationships require a healthy mindset. 

When it comes to dealing with issues of mental health or trust, sometimes one partner feels defensive or resistant to making changes. 

You can’t make someone change. You can encourage it, but eventually, you’ll need to let your partner reach their own conclusions. 

If they refuse to do the necessary work after being given plenty of time and assistance you don’t have to stay. You’re not responsible for them. 

7. You’re Happier Alone

Do you find yourself getting to work early and leaving late? Maybe you always want to go to the store alone or take long drives on the way home. 

Everyone needs alone time, but if you begin to realize that you’re happier when you’re alone, or you’re actively avoiding your partner, it’s not a great sign for your marriage. Investigate this feeling.

8. Addiction Has Gotten in the Way

Alcohol addiction is a serious mental health issue and it’s capable of truly ruining a marriage. 

If your partner is an addict, they need help. Trying to get them that help before you call it quits might end up being all that you need to solve your relationship problems. 

You can’t make someone heal, though. 

If someone is so deep into their addiction that they’re refusing help or treatment, or if they’ve become abusive, you may have to accept that the marriage is over and let them go. 

This can be painful. Drugs and alcohol can make someone into a totally different person. For your safety and mental wellbeing, though, setting boundaries and detaching may be the healthiest choice. 

9. Your Partner is Abusive

If your partner is actively making you or your family feel constantly bad or unsafe, you might be in an abusive relationship and it’s important to realize that your marriage is over and you need to get out of the house asap.

Not all abuse is physical (though if it is, you should end the relationship immediately). Some abuse is emotional and some is sexual. 

Emotional abuse may be worked through, especially if your partner is unaware of their impact on you or the children, but if they refuse to work on their problems it’s time to leave. 

If you think that you might be in an abusive relationship, reach out for help. Don’t wait! Talk to a lawyer and see how you can get a divorce and the Sole child custody of your kids.

10. One Party Has a Change of Heart

Sometimes things happen that no one can plan for. 

When you got married, your partner was probably the light of your life. However, people change. If you married young, you might be a totally different person now as you’ve developed into adulthood. There is nothing wrong with marrying young as long as you grow together and learn how to be together as you grow and mature. However, if you don’t work on your marriage from day one, there is a chance you could grow apart the older you get.

If one partner realizes that you’re no longer compatible, whether it’s for reasons of personal beliefs, lifestyles, or potentially sexuality, it’s time to sit down and have a serious talk. Just because you are different people doesn’t mean your marriage is over, but it might be a sign that you need counseling in order to learn how to work together.

11. You’re Not Communicating

Communication is necessary for any happy and functional relationship. Your partner won’t know what you want or need (or vice versa) if you don’t find a way to tell them.

When communication is gone it’s a sign that your relationship is in hot water. 

This can be a problem for counseling to fix, but if it doesn’t get solved, you might consider that the marriage is over.

12. Intimacy is Gone

In most marriages, physical intimacy is important. 

This doesn’t have to be sexual intimacy. Sometimes just wanting to hold your partner’s hand or be close to them is enough. 

When you no longer want to be physically intimate, even in small ways, something is amiss. Investigate the problem and consider bringing it to counseling, but it’s not a good sign for the longevity of your marriage. Not wanting to have sex with your partner doesn’t mean your marriage is over, but it is a sign that something is wrong and you need to talk about it.

13. The Relationship Isn’t Equal

Your partner should be your equal in everything. 

If it’s becoming abundantly clear that they put themself above you, or hold you to different standards than the ones that they follow, it might be time to reassess your relationship. 

Pay attention to things that your partner criticizes. Do they also do those things? What happens if you bring that up? 

You should never feel as though you’re worth less than the person that you’re married to. You’re equals. 

14. There’s Constant Negativity

You should have some enjoyable time with your partner. Ideally, you want to spend most of your time around them. 

If your household is constant fighting, arguing, and nitpicking, this is probably no longer the case.

A negative household is unhealthy for you, your children, and your partner. If you can’t cut the negativity, you might have to realize that the marriage is over.

15. You’re Reading Articles Like These 

Let’s face it, if you are still reading this article, you probably suspect your marriage is over and that the relationship looks like it’s on its last legs. 

This isn’t necessarily the end, but if you’re feeling this way now, you need to talk to your spouse about your relationship. 

You might have a salvageable marriage, but without making changes, you’re likely to run into more problems. 

There Are Many Signs Your Marriage is Over

Many marriages can be fixed through counseling, open communication, and the setting or reassessment of boundaries. Unfortunately, though, this isn’t true for all of them and sometimes you just need to realize that the marriage is over. 

If you notice multiple signs your marriage is over, it might be time to have an honest talk with your spouse and possibly your family too. 

Don’t force yourself to stay in a marriage if you are in danger or your children are in danger. You and your children’s safety should always come first. 

For more posts like this on relationships, family, and more, visit the rest of our site.

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Posted By The Fashionable Housewife
on May 2, 2020 at 2:19 PM
Filed Under: Relationships & Marriage
Tagged With: counseling, counseling services, counselor, divorce, Marriage, marriage advice, marriage counseling, married couple, relationship

About The Fashionable Housewife

Sarah-Jean Ballard is the Editor in Chief of The Fashionable Housewife blog and Founder of Fashionable Media. Married to a sexy Molecular Biologist, housewife, mom to 5, homeschooler, Certified Personal Nutritionist and entrepreneur who's mission is to help moms just like you look and feel GREAT! Other interests include dancing, yoga, positive intactivism, natural birth and breastfeeding support, babywearing, paleo & gluten-free cooking, and promoting an overall healthy lifestyle to all.

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You do not find a happy life. You make it. 

That’s the biggest lesson that grief has taught me. If I just wait around to be happy again, I’ll die sad. 

You don’t get through grief and come out the other side. That’s not how it works. You learn how to grow around it like a tree grows around a rock that’s in the way. You don’t wait for the rock to move. Cause it’s not gonna. 

Choose happy. And then make it happen. 

#choosehappy #joyinthejourney #griefjourney #healingfromtrauma
8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favor 8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favorite. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, @daeinexplains 🥰

The last 20 years with you have been my favorite years on this earth. ❤️ 

If I did anything right in my life, it was when I decided to give my heart to you.  You are my best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my rock, my everything. 

I love you.

#couplegoals #marriedlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #weddingday #marriagegoals #yourestilltheone
Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍ Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍♀️

This little guy always asks to help when he sees me cleaning the house, washing the floors, doing laundry, or emptying the dishwasher. That’s what I love about Montessori parenting - it allows kids to do  big jobs and in turn makes them eager to help! 

He was over the moon when we gave him the @lovevery floor mop that actually works! He uses it daily now. The mopping pad is machine washable and you can refill the fluid container on it. I usually just do water and a drop of essential oils because he loves it when everything smells clean! 😜 

Definitely recommend! If you want to grab this mop for your little helper, it’s in the Storyteller Play Kit from Lovevery for 3 year olds. 

LlNK is in my bio to get FREE shipping! 💃🏼

#lovevery #loveverytoddler #loveverypartner #montessoriathome #montessoriplayroom #montessoritoddler
Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hol Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hole. 

Sometimes we outgrown relationships. Sometimes we realize someone else isn’t a good influence on our lives. Sometimes we realize we aren’t a good influence for someone else. Sometimes we need to let things go that aren’t good for us in order to grow. And that’s ok. 

Stop trying to sit at a table you are no longer welcome at. Just be yourself, focus on God, love your family and friends, and the right people will gravitate to you. ✌🏻 

#raisingsaints #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #selflovejourney #growingpains #selfcaresunday
When your toaster breaks from a power surge you ta When your toaster breaks from a power surge you take that as a sign that it’s time to upgrade! 🤪

It wasn’t hard to pick a new 4 slice toaster. As soon as I saw this one from @haden_usa I added it to my cart. I bought it from @lordandtaylor because it had the fastest shipping and I didn’t want to wait! 

No fancy electronics, screens, or extra features we don’t need. Just simple, straight forward functions and perfect results everytime. Plus it matches all my @cafeappliances too! 😂👍🏻

What do you think of this 4 slice toaster?! 

#toasters #kitchenappliances #kitchendesign #kitchendecor #whitekitchen #farmhousekitchen #farmhousestyle #whiteappliances
I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @en I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @enjoiya! 💃🏼 

The “Steffi” in green are the perfect boots for ushering in spring weather with their delicious vintage leather and worn-in look right out of the box. I love the chunky lug soles and inside zippers to get them on and off easily. 

These are the boots you’ll want to wear again and again. And again. 

Use my coupon code BALLARD20 to get 20% off your order! Find them on www.enjoiya.com

#leatherbooties #enjoiya #italianshoes #realmomstyle #momstyle #momstyletips
All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with the prices of eggs right now! 🤪 🐔 🥚 

Guess it’s ok to be a crazy chicken lady and have a homestead now! 🤣

#momlife #crazychickenlady #homesteadlife
I’m addicted and I just can’t get enough 😂🫣

I’m loving my no -toxic, non-stick cookware from @caraway_home  It’s as beautiful as it is easy to cook with. And it makes my kitchen look prettier too! 💁🏼‍♀️

Want to learn more about why I’m obsessed with these pots and pans? Visit my blog and search CARAWAY! Or scroll through my feed! 🥳

#homemaker #housewifelife #homestyler #momlife
Today was my due date for Dylan. Considering he w Today was my due date for Dylan.

Considering he was my 6th child, it's possible he would have been here by now. It’s been extra hard for me this week. 

Despite my best efforts to be strong and stay positive, I am completely brokenhearted. I’m just being honest. I could pretend I’m fine, but that doesn't do me or anyone else any good to be dishonest about the pain of miscarriage or the grief that comes with losing a child. 

My heart is completely shattered from having an empty womb and an empty nursery. An empty bassinet in the corner and unused tiny newborn outfits, all washed, folded, and ready… for nothing. 

It makes me physically sick to my stomach when I think about it all and I can't even fathom how I got here. How did I get here? 

This isn't how it's supposed to be! I should be holding a newborn right now! It’s so unfair. 

In an instant, my baby was gone and there was nothing I could do to change that. 

It doesn't matter how much time passes or what else happens in life, I will always miss him. My heart with always long for my baby. 

Those who haven't experienced loss tell you that "Don’t worry! Things will get better, just focus on the positive!" but people who actually know this grief and what it actually feels like to lose a baby, won’t tell you that. They know this hard road. They understand that unfortunately you don't just “get over it.” 

The grief doesn't just go away, even if you try to ignore it, it's still there. Like the sun. You don’t have to look at it to know it’s there. You can turn your back on it but it will still warm your skin. 

The grief from losing a child is unbearable. 
It is unpredictable.
It is unforgiving.
It is relentless.
It is all-consuming.
And it completely shatters you when you don’t expect it. 

You don’t get over it. You don’t forget. You simply learn to live with it. And I’m learning to live with it every day. 

It’s been 137 days I’ve had to live without my baby. 

Lord Jesus, please… hold me extra tight tonight. 

#babyloss #babylossawareness #babylosssupport #babylosscommunity #babylosssurvivor #stillbornstillloved #stillbornawareness #stillbirth #miscarriagesupport #miscarriageawareness

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You do not find a happy life. You make it. 

That’s the biggest lesson that grief has taught me. If I just wait around to be happy again, I’ll die sad. 

You don’t get through grief and come out the other side. That’s not how it works. You learn how to grow around it like a tree grows around a rock that’s in the way. You don’t wait for the rock to move. Cause it’s not gonna. 

Choose happy. And then make it happen. 

#choosehappy #joyinthejourney #griefjourney #healingfromtrauma
8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favor 8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favorite. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, @daeinexplains 🥰

The last 20 years with you have been my favorite years on this earth. ❤️ 

If I did anything right in my life, it was when I decided to give my heart to you.  You are my best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my rock, my everything. 

I love you.

#couplegoals #marriedlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #weddingday #marriagegoals #yourestilltheone
Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍ Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍♀️

This little guy always asks to help when he sees me cleaning the house, washing the floors, doing laundry, or emptying the dishwasher. That’s what I love about Montessori parenting - it allows kids to do  big jobs and in turn makes them eager to help! 

He was over the moon when we gave him the @lovevery floor mop that actually works! He uses it daily now. The mopping pad is machine washable and you can refill the fluid container on it. I usually just do water and a drop of essential oils because he loves it when everything smells clean! 😜 

Definitely recommend! If you want to grab this mop for your little helper, it’s in the Storyteller Play Kit from Lovevery for 3 year olds. 

LlNK is in my bio to get FREE shipping! 💃🏼

#lovevery #loveverytoddler #loveverypartner #montessoriathome #montessoriplayroom #montessoritoddler
Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hol Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hole. 

Sometimes we outgrown relationships. Sometimes we realize someone else isn’t a good influence on our lives. Sometimes we realize we aren’t a good influence for someone else. Sometimes we need to let things go that aren’t good for us in order to grow. And that’s ok. 

Stop trying to sit at a table you are no longer welcome at. Just be yourself, focus on God, love your family and friends, and the right people will gravitate to you. ✌🏻 

#raisingsaints #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #selflovejourney #growingpains #selfcaresunday
When your toaster breaks from a power surge you ta When your toaster breaks from a power surge you take that as a sign that it’s time to upgrade! 🤪

It wasn’t hard to pick a new 4 slice toaster. As soon as I saw this one from @haden_usa I added it to my cart. I bought it from @lordandtaylor because it had the fastest shipping and I didn’t want to wait! 

No fancy electronics, screens, or extra features we don’t need. Just simple, straight forward functions and perfect results everytime. Plus it matches all my @cafeappliances too! 😂👍🏻

What do you think of this 4 slice toaster?! 

#toasters #kitchenappliances #kitchendesign #kitchendecor #whitekitchen #farmhousekitchen #farmhousestyle #whiteappliances
I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @en I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @enjoiya! 💃🏼 

The “Steffi” in green are the perfect boots for ushering in spring weather with their delicious vintage leather and worn-in look right out of the box. I love the chunky lug soles and inside zippers to get them on and off easily. 

These are the boots you’ll want to wear again and again. And again. 

Use my coupon code BALLARD20 to get 20% off your order! Find them on www.enjoiya.com

#leatherbooties #enjoiya #italianshoes #realmomstyle #momstyle #momstyletips
All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with the prices of eggs right now! 🤪 🐔 🥚 

Guess it’s ok to be a crazy chicken lady and have a homestead now! 🤣

#momlife #crazychickenlady #homesteadlife
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