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The Fashionable Housewife

The Fashionable Housewife

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Getting Into Recovery Mode: The Trick to Being a Better Parent (and Person)

Modified on June 24, 2022 at 12:00 AM

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As parents, we all need to figure out the best ways to rest and recharge, but sometimes we either don’t have the time or feel that we’re not armed with the right tools. Stress, whether it’s large or small, is one of those facts of life. When we don’t feel in control, we are going to feel the impact of stress in many parts of our lives. 

Stress is also an external force, whether things are causing us to stress about aging, our looks, health, financial stress, or our children. Whenever we feel stressed, we need the right coping tools. Here are some ways to help you get into recovery mode more quickly. 

Take It Slow

The speed of life we all go at means we do not necessarily have the opportunity to slow down. We have to remember that recovery is something that should be built into our lives. The fact is that mothers who give birth have a period of recovery or breast augmentation recovery after cosmetic surgery is just as important to ensure that you are ready for the next phase of your life. 

Our bodies and brains were designed to face a bit of stress, but, more importantly, have a period of time to relax before we hit the next challenge. We need to take little breaks throughout the day to notice any signs of stress in our bodies. You need to take some deep breaths and ask yourself what is the best thing for you to do right now and move forward with this in a more mindful way. 

Walking Outside

Getting outside is perfect for reducing anxiety. But even if you cannot get outside because you’re in a built-up city area you can even look at pictures of calming and serene scenes to help you reduce your anxieties. Studies have shown that even people who saw pictures of trees were able to recover quicker from stress and had slower heart rates. 

If you are lucky enough to have a garden, spending a bit of time out there barefoot can help you to lower your stress levels. 

Exercising

Exercise is one of those things that has been proven time and time again to help you feel better. Exercise helps your mood and can improve your sleep, but it also has benefits on your mental alertness. Exercise is also proven to lower your blood pressure, so you don’t necessarily feel that sense of tension. 

If you feel stressed all the time, it’s going to age you quicker and this has been shown by the telomeres in your cells. Shorter telomeres in the brain are a sign that you are chronically stressed, which will make you feel (and look) older. But moderate exercise a few times a week is a perfect way to protect you from this. 

Do Not Forget Your Posture

Your mother may have told you as a child to sit up or stand up straight, but believe it or not, standing in an upright pose can help you to perform better during periods of stress. There’s an amazing TED talk by Amy Cuddy that speaks about the effects of posture, and a lot of people may believe that it’s pseudoscience, but if you stand up tall you feel more confident but the fact is that it has been studied. 

Subjects have been tested by being stressed out; those that had sat upright had less fear and were more positive in comparison to people that slouched, but were also less self-conscious. If you feel stressed, stand up and fix your posture.

Smile More 

There’s a lot more talk about the benefits of tricking your brain into doing something. The brain, on a physiological level, is not able to tell what is real and what is imagined. This is why something like positive self-talk and therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has proven to be so popular because they can help us retrain our brain into thinking differently. 

But if time is running out and you don’t have the opportunity to do self-talk or to even go through something like CBT by yourself, a quick shortcut is to smile. Even fake smiles can help your body resist stress. A study conducted at the University of Kansas showed that groups that either smiled genuinely or faked it had lower heart rates and performed better under stress. 

While the people that genuinely smiled performed better under stress, the lesson is clear; actually making yourself smile can send a message to your brain that will subconsciously influence how you feel. 

Looking at Your Stresses From a Different Perspective

This is the most useful tactic in dealing with stress. If we feel that we are never able to recover from stress, we have to switch up how we are looking at the concept of stress. Trying to see your stress beyond mere pressure but more as a challenge that needs to be tackled can do a lot for how stressed you actually feel. 

If you start to look at stressors as challenges that you are able to learn from, whether it’s just as simple as learning how to tolerate stress better, this is a very small inoculation that is going to help you in the long run. 

It is certainly not straightforward, especially if you are feeling under pressure constantly, but some of these approaches can do a lot either to retrain your perspectives of stress or get into recovery mode. A lot of people just keep going until they cannot. Instead of trying to push through, thinking that you just need to get through the next problem and everything will be okay, think about how you can build in ways to recover throughout every single day. 

Whether it’s doing something like box breathing to stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system or actually having peace and quiet for as little as 30 seconds and focusing on nothing, these are great ways to get into that recovery mode that will make you a far better parent and person.

Related posts:

3 Mistakes Parents Make When Setting Boundaries For Teenagers3 Mistakes Parents Make When Setting Boundaries For Teenagers 10 Coping Methods for Moms: From Anxiety to Zoning Out10 Coping Methods for Moms: From Anxiety to Zoning Out How To Deal With a Disrespectful Grown Child That Ignores YouHow To Deal With a Disrespectful Grown Child That Ignores You

Posted By The Fashionable Housewife
on June 24, 2022 at 12:00 AM
Filed Under: Parenting
Tagged With: parenthood, Parenting, parenting advice, parenting talk, parenting tips, parenting tools

About The Fashionable Housewife

Sarah-Jean Ballard is the Editor in Chief of The Fashionable Housewife blog and Founder of Fashionable Media. Married to a sexy Molecular Biologist, housewife, mom to 5, homeschooler, Certified Personal Nutritionist and entrepreneur who's mission is to help moms just like you look and feel GREAT! Other interests include dancing, yoga, positive intactivism, natural birth and breastfeeding support, babywearing, paleo & gluten-free cooking, and promoting an overall healthy lifestyle to all.

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The Fashionable Housewife is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for blogs and websites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. We also participate in various other affiliate programs, and we sometimes get a commission on purchases made through our links. There is no extra cost to you! For more info, please see our Disclosure & Privacy Policy.

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Sarah-Jean Ballard

Hi! I’m Sarah-Jean. I’m a Christian, the wife of a handsome Molecular Biologist, and the homeschooling mother of 5 beautiful kids!

I enjoy homesteading, reading, writing, cooking, baking, crafting, home decorating, Xtend Barre, and of course, fashion!

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𝕊𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕙 | Fashionable Homemaker & Large Family Life
You do not find a happy life. You make it. 

That’s the biggest lesson that grief has taught me. If I just wait around to be happy again, I’ll die sad. 

You don’t get through grief and come out the other side. That’s not how it works. You learn how to grow around it like a tree grows around a rock that’s in the way. You don’t wait for the rock to move. Cause it’s not gonna. 

Choose happy. And then make it happen. 

#choosehappy #joyinthejourney #griefjourney #healingfromtrauma
8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favor 8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favorite. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, @daeinexplains 🥰

The last 20 years with you have been my favorite years on this earth. ❤️ 

If I did anything right in my life, it was when I decided to give my heart to you.  You are my best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my rock, my everything. 

I love you.

#couplegoals #marriedlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #weddingday #marriagegoals #yourestilltheone
Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍ Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍♀️

This little guy always asks to help when he sees me cleaning the house, washing the floors, doing laundry, or emptying the dishwasher. That’s what I love about Montessori parenting - it allows kids to do  big jobs and in turn makes them eager to help! 

He was over the moon when we gave him the @lovevery floor mop that actually works! He uses it daily now. The mopping pad is machine washable and you can refill the fluid container on it. I usually just do water and a drop of essential oils because he loves it when everything smells clean! 😜 

Definitely recommend! If you want to grab this mop for your little helper, it’s in the Storyteller Play Kit from Lovevery for 3 year olds. 

LlNK is in my bio to get FREE shipping! 💃🏼

#lovevery #loveverytoddler #loveverypartner #montessoriathome #montessoriplayroom #montessoritoddler
Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hol Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hole. 

Sometimes we outgrown relationships. Sometimes we realize someone else isn’t a good influence on our lives. Sometimes we realize we aren’t a good influence for someone else. Sometimes we need to let things go that aren’t good for us in order to grow. And that’s ok. 

Stop trying to sit at a table you are no longer welcome at. Just be yourself, focus on God, love your family and friends, and the right people will gravitate to you. ✌🏻 

#raisingsaints #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #selflovejourney #growingpains #selfcaresunday
When your toaster breaks from a power surge you ta When your toaster breaks from a power surge you take that as a sign that it’s time to upgrade! 🤪

It wasn’t hard to pick a new 4 slice toaster. As soon as I saw this one from @haden_usa I added it to my cart. I bought it from @lordandtaylor because it had the fastest shipping and I didn’t want to wait! 

No fancy electronics, screens, or extra features we don’t need. Just simple, straight forward functions and perfect results everytime. Plus it matches all my @cafeappliances too! 😂👍🏻

What do you think of this 4 slice toaster?! 

#toasters #kitchenappliances #kitchendesign #kitchendecor #whitekitchen #farmhousekitchen #farmhousestyle #whiteappliances
I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @en I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @enjoiya! 💃🏼 

The “Steffi” in green are the perfect boots for ushering in spring weather with their delicious vintage leather and worn-in look right out of the box. I love the chunky lug soles and inside zippers to get them on and off easily. 

These are the boots you’ll want to wear again and again. And again. 

Use my coupon code BALLARD20 to get 20% off your order! Find them on www.enjoiya.com

#leatherbooties #enjoiya #italianshoes #realmomstyle #momstyle #momstyletips
All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with the prices of eggs right now! 🤪 🐔 🥚 

Guess it’s ok to be a crazy chicken lady and have a homestead now! 🤣

#momlife #crazychickenlady #homesteadlife
I’m addicted and I just can’t get enough 😂🫣

I’m loving my no -toxic, non-stick cookware from @caraway_home  It’s as beautiful as it is easy to cook with. And it makes my kitchen look prettier too! 💁🏼‍♀️

Want to learn more about why I’m obsessed with these pots and pans? Visit my blog and search CARAWAY! Or scroll through my feed! 🥳

#homemaker #housewifelife #homestyler #momlife
Today was my due date for Dylan. Considering he w Today was my due date for Dylan.

Considering he was my 6th child, it's possible he would have been here by now. It’s been extra hard for me this week. 

Despite my best efforts to be strong and stay positive, I am completely brokenhearted. I’m just being honest. I could pretend I’m fine, but that doesn't do me or anyone else any good to be dishonest about the pain of miscarriage or the grief that comes with losing a child. 

My heart is completely shattered from having an empty womb and an empty nursery. An empty bassinet in the corner and unused tiny newborn outfits, all washed, folded, and ready… for nothing. 

It makes me physically sick to my stomach when I think about it all and I can't even fathom how I got here. How did I get here? 

This isn't how it's supposed to be! I should be holding a newborn right now! It’s so unfair. 

In an instant, my baby was gone and there was nothing I could do to change that. 

It doesn't matter how much time passes or what else happens in life, I will always miss him. My heart with always long for my baby. 

Those who haven't experienced loss tell you that "Don’t worry! Things will get better, just focus on the positive!" but people who actually know this grief and what it actually feels like to lose a baby, won’t tell you that. They know this hard road. They understand that unfortunately you don't just “get over it.” 

The grief doesn't just go away, even if you try to ignore it, it's still there. Like the sun. You don’t have to look at it to know it’s there. You can turn your back on it but it will still warm your skin. 

The grief from losing a child is unbearable. 
It is unpredictable.
It is unforgiving.
It is relentless.
It is all-consuming.
And it completely shatters you when you don’t expect it. 

You don’t get over it. You don’t forget. You simply learn to live with it. And I’m learning to live with it every day. 

It’s been 137 days I’ve had to live without my baby. 

Lord Jesus, please… hold me extra tight tonight. 

#babyloss #babylossawareness #babylosssupport #babylosscommunity #babylosssurvivor #stillbornstillloved #stillbornawareness #stillbirth #miscarriagesupport #miscarriageawareness

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You do not find a happy life. You make it. 

That’s the biggest lesson that grief has taught me. If I just wait around to be happy again, I’ll die sad. 

You don’t get through grief and come out the other side. That’s not how it works. You learn how to grow around it like a tree grows around a rock that’s in the way. You don’t wait for the rock to move. Cause it’s not gonna. 

Choose happy. And then make it happen. 

#choosehappy #joyinthejourney #griefjourney #healingfromtrauma
8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favor 8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favorite. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, @daeinexplains 🥰

The last 20 years with you have been my favorite years on this earth. ❤️ 

If I did anything right in my life, it was when I decided to give my heart to you.  You are my best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my rock, my everything. 

I love you.

#couplegoals #marriedlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #weddingday #marriagegoals #yourestilltheone
Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍ Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍♀️

This little guy always asks to help when he sees me cleaning the house, washing the floors, doing laundry, or emptying the dishwasher. That’s what I love about Montessori parenting - it allows kids to do  big jobs and in turn makes them eager to help! 

He was over the moon when we gave him the @lovevery floor mop that actually works! He uses it daily now. The mopping pad is machine washable and you can refill the fluid container on it. I usually just do water and a drop of essential oils because he loves it when everything smells clean! 😜 

Definitely recommend! If you want to grab this mop for your little helper, it’s in the Storyteller Play Kit from Lovevery for 3 year olds. 

LlNK is in my bio to get FREE shipping! 💃🏼

#lovevery #loveverytoddler #loveverypartner #montessoriathome #montessoriplayroom #montessoritoddler
Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hol Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hole. 

Sometimes we outgrown relationships. Sometimes we realize someone else isn’t a good influence on our lives. Sometimes we realize we aren’t a good influence for someone else. Sometimes we need to let things go that aren’t good for us in order to grow. And that’s ok. 

Stop trying to sit at a table you are no longer welcome at. Just be yourself, focus on God, love your family and friends, and the right people will gravitate to you. ✌🏻 

#raisingsaints #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #selflovejourney #growingpains #selfcaresunday
When your toaster breaks from a power surge you ta When your toaster breaks from a power surge you take that as a sign that it’s time to upgrade! 🤪

It wasn’t hard to pick a new 4 slice toaster. As soon as I saw this one from @haden_usa I added it to my cart. I bought it from @lordandtaylor because it had the fastest shipping and I didn’t want to wait! 

No fancy electronics, screens, or extra features we don’t need. Just simple, straight forward functions and perfect results everytime. Plus it matches all my @cafeappliances too! 😂👍🏻

What do you think of this 4 slice toaster?! 

#toasters #kitchenappliances #kitchendesign #kitchendecor #whitekitchen #farmhousekitchen #farmhousestyle #whiteappliances
I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @en I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @enjoiya! 💃🏼 

The “Steffi” in green are the perfect boots for ushering in spring weather with their delicious vintage leather and worn-in look right out of the box. I love the chunky lug soles and inside zippers to get them on and off easily. 

These are the boots you’ll want to wear again and again. And again. 

Use my coupon code BALLARD20 to get 20% off your order! Find them on www.enjoiya.com

#leatherbooties #enjoiya #italianshoes #realmomstyle #momstyle #momstyletips
All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with the prices of eggs right now! 🤪 🐔 🥚 

Guess it’s ok to be a crazy chicken lady and have a homestead now! 🤣

#momlife #crazychickenlady #homesteadlife
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