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Should You Background Check Your Partner Before Getting Married?

Modified on August 7, 2022 at 10:39 PM

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Few people today consider background checks to be a standard element of pre-marriage procedures like prenuptial agreements have become. We tend to think people trust each other enough to have shared everything that’s important about themselves before even broaching the subject of marriage. However, this isn’t always the case. You can refer to UnMask if you want to learn more. 

Why Get a Background Check 

The reality is that con artists do exist. There are many such true crime stories. Marital deceit has been the fodder of countless TV shows. Background checks should become a prerequisite, just like getting a blood test.

For Richer, for Poorer 

When it comes to the financial impact, a credit check is an essential part of any background screening. Since spouses tend to pool debt and income, you need to be sure your partner is financially responsible. Poor credit will impact future mortgages, loans, lease terms, insurance payments, and perhaps employment. A low credit score is no reason to call the marriage off, of course, but knowing how the credit rating will affect your needs going forward and who has the better record can help plan ahead. 

Arguments about money are a pervasive cause of marital problems. They are recurrent and problematic and often remained unresolved even though people will make multiple efforts to solve them. Having a detailed financial profile in advance can help resolve or even avoid potential issues in this regard. 

Deal Breakers

A background check can reveal fraud, incidences of deception, and even legal obstacles to marriage. You might find the person is not legally eligible to get married. Sometimes, you can chalk it up to an honest mistake. It might be due to an immigration issue or thinking a previous marriage was annulled when it really wasn’t. 

An identity change can have taken place for different reasons; being in a witness protection program or simply making the decision to start over. 

Criminal history: Nobody who conceals a criminal record, especially one for domestic violence, deserves your trust. Besides, no one wants to end up filing a protective order against their partner.

Civil action record: If your future spouse is always in court, it may be that their life was filled with poor judgment and drama. It could also mean they were out of luck. A lengthy judgment or civil action record might indicate the person has committed or attempted fraud, is antisocial, or has another issue.

History of addiction: Drug convictions and DUIs signal drug abuse. Erratic spending and excessive debt indicate a propensity for MLM schemes or gambling addiction. Sometimes, people just don’t feel this is worth mentioning because they think it’s normal.

Legality

Individuals can conduct background checks completely legally, unlike companies, which must comply with certain laws if they wish to conduct pre-employment screening. This means you are free to run a background check on anyone as a natural person. You don’t have to tell your partner. You have every right to consider any personal traits that are important to you and exercise judgment with respect to the outcome. 

If you perceive this as snooping and don’t feel comfortable doing it, look at background checks together. It can be treated as a form of entertainment, like going to a fortune teller. It’s only fair that both partners be screened to avoid drama. 

There’s nothing dishonest about undergoing a background check. Your partner might not even be aware of adverse information about their past showing up. You could be doing them a favor by checking and allowing them to explain or have their record corrected. 

Related posts:

Keeping Your Marriage Alive and Strong After KidsKeeping Your Marriage Alive and Strong After Kids How Better Intimacy Can Save Your MarriageHow Better Intimacy Can Save Your Marriage

Posted By The Fashionable Housewife
on December 16, 2020 at 8:55 AM
Filed Under: Weddings & Parties
Tagged With: Marriage, marriage advice, married couple, Wedding, wedding plans

About The Fashionable Housewife

Sarah-Jean Ballard is the Editor in Chief of The Fashionable Housewife blog and Founder of Fashionable Media. Married to a sexy Molecular Biologist, housewife, mom to 5, homeschooler, Certified Personal Nutritionist and entrepreneur who's mission is to help moms just like you look and feel GREAT! Other interests include dancing, yoga, positive intactivism, natural birth and breastfeeding support, babywearing, paleo & gluten-free cooking, and promoting an overall healthy lifestyle to all.

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Sarah-Jean Ballard

Hi! I’m Sarah-Jean. I’m a Christian, the wife of a handsome Molecular Biologist, and the homeschooling mother of 5 beautiful kids!

I enjoy homesteading, reading, writing, cooking, baking, crafting, home decorating, Xtend Barre, and of course, fashion!

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𝕊𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕙 | Fashionable Homemaker & Large Family Life
You do not find a happy life. You make it. 

That’s the biggest lesson that grief has taught me. If I just wait around to be happy again, I’ll die sad. 

You don’t get through grief and come out the other side. That’s not how it works. You learn how to grow around it like a tree grows around a rock that’s in the way. You don’t wait for the rock to move. Cause it’s not gonna. 

Choose happy. And then make it happen. 

#choosehappy #joyinthejourney #griefjourney #healingfromtrauma
8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favor 8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favorite. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, @daeinexplains 🥰

The last 20 years with you have been my favorite years on this earth. ❤️ 

If I did anything right in my life, it was when I decided to give my heart to you.  You are my best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my rock, my everything. 

I love you.

#couplegoals #marriedlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #weddingday #marriagegoals #yourestilltheone
Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍ Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍♀️

This little guy always asks to help when he sees me cleaning the house, washing the floors, doing laundry, or emptying the dishwasher. That’s what I love about Montessori parenting - it allows kids to do  big jobs and in turn makes them eager to help! 

He was over the moon when we gave him the @lovevery floor mop that actually works! He uses it daily now. The mopping pad is machine washable and you can refill the fluid container on it. I usually just do water and a drop of essential oils because he loves it when everything smells clean! 😜 

Definitely recommend! If you want to grab this mop for your little helper, it’s in the Storyteller Play Kit from Lovevery for 3 year olds. 

LlNK is in my bio to get FREE shipping! 💃🏼

#lovevery #loveverytoddler #loveverypartner #montessoriathome #montessoriplayroom #montessoritoddler
Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hol Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hole. 

Sometimes we outgrown relationships. Sometimes we realize someone else isn’t a good influence on our lives. Sometimes we realize we aren’t a good influence for someone else. Sometimes we need to let things go that aren’t good for us in order to grow. And that’s ok. 

Stop trying to sit at a table you are no longer welcome at. Just be yourself, focus on God, love your family and friends, and the right people will gravitate to you. ✌🏻 

#raisingsaints #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #selflovejourney #growingpains #selfcaresunday
When your toaster breaks from a power surge you ta When your toaster breaks from a power surge you take that as a sign that it’s time to upgrade! 🤪

It wasn’t hard to pick a new 4 slice toaster. As soon as I saw this one from @haden_usa I added it to my cart. I bought it from @lordandtaylor because it had the fastest shipping and I didn’t want to wait! 

No fancy electronics, screens, or extra features we don’t need. Just simple, straight forward functions and perfect results everytime. Plus it matches all my @cafeappliances too! 😂👍🏻

What do you think of this 4 slice toaster?! 

#toasters #kitchenappliances #kitchendesign #kitchendecor #whitekitchen #farmhousekitchen #farmhousestyle #whiteappliances
I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @en I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @enjoiya! 💃🏼 

The “Steffi” in green are the perfect boots for ushering in spring weather with their delicious vintage leather and worn-in look right out of the box. I love the chunky lug soles and inside zippers to get them on and off easily. 

These are the boots you’ll want to wear again and again. And again. 

Use my coupon code BALLARD20 to get 20% off your order! Find them on www.enjoiya.com

#leatherbooties #enjoiya #italianshoes #realmomstyle #momstyle #momstyletips
All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with the prices of eggs right now! 🤪 🐔 🥚 

Guess it’s ok to be a crazy chicken lady and have a homestead now! 🤣

#momlife #crazychickenlady #homesteadlife
I’m addicted and I just can’t get enough 😂🫣

I’m loving my no -toxic, non-stick cookware from @caraway_home  It’s as beautiful as it is easy to cook with. And it makes my kitchen look prettier too! 💁🏼‍♀️

Want to learn more about why I’m obsessed with these pots and pans? Visit my blog and search CARAWAY! Or scroll through my feed! 🥳

#homemaker #housewifelife #homestyler #momlife
Today was my due date for Dylan. Considering he w Today was my due date for Dylan.

Considering he was my 6th child, it's possible he would have been here by now. It’s been extra hard for me this week. 

Despite my best efforts to be strong and stay positive, I am completely brokenhearted. I’m just being honest. I could pretend I’m fine, but that doesn't do me or anyone else any good to be dishonest about the pain of miscarriage or the grief that comes with losing a child. 

My heart is completely shattered from having an empty womb and an empty nursery. An empty bassinet in the corner and unused tiny newborn outfits, all washed, folded, and ready… for nothing. 

It makes me physically sick to my stomach when I think about it all and I can't even fathom how I got here. How did I get here? 

This isn't how it's supposed to be! I should be holding a newborn right now! It’s so unfair. 

In an instant, my baby was gone and there was nothing I could do to change that. 

It doesn't matter how much time passes or what else happens in life, I will always miss him. My heart with always long for my baby. 

Those who haven't experienced loss tell you that "Don’t worry! Things will get better, just focus on the positive!" but people who actually know this grief and what it actually feels like to lose a baby, won’t tell you that. They know this hard road. They understand that unfortunately you don't just “get over it.” 

The grief doesn't just go away, even if you try to ignore it, it's still there. Like the sun. You don’t have to look at it to know it’s there. You can turn your back on it but it will still warm your skin. 

The grief from losing a child is unbearable. 
It is unpredictable.
It is unforgiving.
It is relentless.
It is all-consuming.
And it completely shatters you when you don’t expect it. 

You don’t get over it. You don’t forget. You simply learn to live with it. And I’m learning to live with it every day. 

It’s been 137 days I’ve had to live without my baby. 

Lord Jesus, please… hold me extra tight tonight. 

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You do not find a happy life. You make it. 

That’s the biggest lesson that grief has taught me. If I just wait around to be happy again, I’ll die sad. 

You don’t get through grief and come out the other side. That’s not how it works. You learn how to grow around it like a tree grows around a rock that’s in the way. You don’t wait for the rock to move. Cause it’s not gonna. 

Choose happy. And then make it happen. 

#choosehappy #joyinthejourney #griefjourney #healingfromtrauma
8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favor 8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favorite. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, @daeinexplains 🥰

The last 20 years with you have been my favorite years on this earth. ❤️ 

If I did anything right in my life, it was when I decided to give my heart to you.  You are my best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my rock, my everything. 

I love you.

#couplegoals #marriedlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #weddingday #marriagegoals #yourestilltheone
Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍ Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍♀️

This little guy always asks to help when he sees me cleaning the house, washing the floors, doing laundry, or emptying the dishwasher. That’s what I love about Montessori parenting - it allows kids to do  big jobs and in turn makes them eager to help! 

He was over the moon when we gave him the @lovevery floor mop that actually works! He uses it daily now. The mopping pad is machine washable and you can refill the fluid container on it. I usually just do water and a drop of essential oils because he loves it when everything smells clean! 😜 

Definitely recommend! If you want to grab this mop for your little helper, it’s in the Storyteller Play Kit from Lovevery for 3 year olds. 

LlNK is in my bio to get FREE shipping! 💃🏼

#lovevery #loveverytoddler #loveverypartner #montessoriathome #montessoriplayroom #montessoritoddler
Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hol Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hole. 

Sometimes we outgrown relationships. Sometimes we realize someone else isn’t a good influence on our lives. Sometimes we realize we aren’t a good influence for someone else. Sometimes we need to let things go that aren’t good for us in order to grow. And that’s ok. 

Stop trying to sit at a table you are no longer welcome at. Just be yourself, focus on God, love your family and friends, and the right people will gravitate to you. ✌🏻 

#raisingsaints #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #selflovejourney #growingpains #selfcaresunday
When your toaster breaks from a power surge you ta When your toaster breaks from a power surge you take that as a sign that it’s time to upgrade! 🤪

It wasn’t hard to pick a new 4 slice toaster. As soon as I saw this one from @haden_usa I added it to my cart. I bought it from @lordandtaylor because it had the fastest shipping and I didn’t want to wait! 

No fancy electronics, screens, or extra features we don’t need. Just simple, straight forward functions and perfect results everytime. Plus it matches all my @cafeappliances too! 😂👍🏻

What do you think of this 4 slice toaster?! 

#toasters #kitchenappliances #kitchendesign #kitchendecor #whitekitchen #farmhousekitchen #farmhousestyle #whiteappliances
I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @en I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @enjoiya! 💃🏼 

The “Steffi” in green are the perfect boots for ushering in spring weather with their delicious vintage leather and worn-in look right out of the box. I love the chunky lug soles and inside zippers to get them on and off easily. 

These are the boots you’ll want to wear again and again. And again. 

Use my coupon code BALLARD20 to get 20% off your order! Find them on www.enjoiya.com

#leatherbooties #enjoiya #italianshoes #realmomstyle #momstyle #momstyletips
All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with the prices of eggs right now! 🤪 🐔 🥚 

Guess it’s ok to be a crazy chicken lady and have a homestead now! 🤣

#momlife #crazychickenlady #homesteadlife
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