and Still Look Swell, Without Looking ‘Swollen’
Oh my! Is it that time again? All of a sudden I am hearing Perry Como, from the 1958 recording, gently crooning “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” in the background. The kids are all sweetly tucked under fleece blankets on the couch watching holiday specials from years past, and for a new generation little Ralphie’s voice can still be heard from your flat-screen TV asserting, “No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!” as his mother chastises, “But, Ralphie, You’ll shoot your eye out!!” And, so, all the sassy fun begins, another holiday season is in full swing.
This is the time of year full of joyful caroling, rosy cheeks, snow ball fights, cookie swaps, trees, lights, presents, and Ralphie’s father’s fish-net stocking lamp. How could any ever forget that dear, old girl with only one svelte leg, a glowing skirt for all the world to see, beaming from the living room window of their house, with no torso to boot? Ahh, Ralphie’s father’s pride and joy. But, this is certainly no attire for any sensible or pragmatic woman during this holiday season. And who, pray tell, who want to be Ralphie’s father’s pride and joy? Sure, a secret crush on Ralphie’s father might exist, but I know of no such women myself, and those confessions would generally be best left between a lady and the wall, in my humble opinion!
Recently, Miss Manners was musing about the decline of elegant dress in this society, around the holidays or otherwise. When asked her opinion on the matter by a Gentle Reader, she wisely advised, “Elegance in fashion didn’t decline: It stopped short the day Worth stopped providing wardrobes to the Heroines of Henry James’ novels, who traveled seasonally to Paris for this purpose”. Of course, the ladies in Henry James novels lived in a different era indeed, about two centuries ago, gently lit my candle-light, who spent their days demurely cross-stitching, learning how to play the harp, taking French lessons, and learning how to walk with books perched atop their heads to improve their posture. They also had wealthy fathers who spend endless amounts of money on expensive silks and tailors, who fussed about, making each girl look like a prize for any indiscreetly disposed European count. Might I add, these ladies were also FICTIONAL. Pardon me, I just had to get that small detail out, before continuing.
However, even though none of us are heroines in a Henry James novel, we still dream of having beautiful fabrics to adorn our lovely figures, and enhance the natural assets that mother nature so gracefully bestowed upon us. We all fall asleep on our pillows, not wishing for Prince Charming, but wishing for that dashing tailor, who would make us look smashing, for all of the up-coming holiday gatherings, whether they be Formal, Semiformal, Don’t Dress, and Optional. I must also state that that Don’t Dress and Optional, do not refer to showing up nude. Though showing up nude may be an artistic statement meant for the likes of someone such as Yoko Ono, the holiday gathering is not the place to make such a statement, even under the pretense that you must display your new breast implants. Displaying them is a definite no-no, and should someone be as caddish to mention them or notice them, simply look shocked, and feign as if you do not understand what they might be referring to. Then, politely excuse yourself, under the pretense that you simply must check up on the Jell-o mold on the stove. You wouldn’t want to burn it, after all!!
Dear Readers, I have finally come across one such tailor, only he is not a dashing tailor, but rather an entire website dedicated to making you look absolutely breath-taking and fabulous, no matter who you are, or how old you are. This website is a God-send and has literally changed my own life. Imagine a place where you are able to input all of your own personal measurements, around fourteen of them to be exact, enter what color palette you prefer wearing, and choose your favorite fabrics, your favorite trends and styles, and for which event you’d like to be dressed. Then imagine that a personal shop were created just for you, displaying finished outfits, even down to the accessories, and these outfits were not only designed to fit and flatter you, but also bring out your lovely skin tone and eyes. Imagine it! Well, such a place has come into being, at Myshape.com.
Imagine a shopping experience without the hassle, where everything chosen for you fit and flattered you just perfectly, and you only had to visit one store, from the comfort of your own living room. And no other woman out there will have a shop just like yours, because you, after all, are a one-of-a-kind work of art. I promise that this is even better than Cinderella and her Fairy God-Mother, and it can be a reality this holiday season for you.
Please watch the following streaming video to get a better idea just what all the buzz is about: https://www.myshape.com/shop/my-shapecam
If you’re anything like me, you can never find the perfect fitting pair of jeans. After I set up and created my own personal shop, I found the perfect fitting pair of jeans! I have a waist that’s one size smaller than my hip size, and finding a pair of jeans that doesn’t give me the dreaded ‘muffin top’ is almost impossible. The jeans manufacturer’s just don’t want to give a girl a break! But, my personal store in MyShape, like a Fairy God-Mother, waived a magic wand, and showed me a selection of jeans in different rises, washes, styles, brands, and price ranges that were all made to fit my body perfectly. Can you believe it? The jean I settled on was a jean by a new company called Little In The Middle. I ordered the jean, and it arrived literally two days later. Talk about fast shipping!!! When I tried it on the next day, my husband immediately commented on this new pair of jeans. He could see my hour-glass figure in all of it’s glory, with the jeans gently gliding over my form, rather than squishing and squashing it in all of the wrong places. By the end of the day, he said, “I am crazy about those jeans you bought! Please order more?” Wow! Not only was my husband actually asking me to spend money on my clothing, he was actually crazy about the way I looked, and that’s quite a feat after giving birth to two children under the age of six. My Fairy God-Mother certainly had my back, in both senses of the word. Here are the miracle jeans by “Little In The Middle” which were selected by my own little Fairy God-Mothers, the Myshape.com personal shoppers:
(This is a model on the Little in the Middle site, not me)
These jeans are great because they are made for lovely pear-shape and hour-glass shaped bodies. And, if you’re built like me, you have probably found it difficult to find jeans that really flatter your body type. In the past, I have just ‘settled’ for jeans and grumbled about the fit. But, this is the first times I have actually had a religious experience with a pair of jeans and have been shouting, “Halleluja!!”, from the rooftops. So, if anyone has been hearing me sing Handel’s Messiah as of late, it’s not just because it’s the Christmas season. You can give the credit to Little In The Middle and Myshape.com for that personal outpouring of rejoice!! I have bestowed my un-dying gratitude upon them.
Ladies, please give yourself the gift of looking fabulous this season, no matter how tall, how old you are, how young at heart you are, or whether or not you can fit into a size 7 Jimmy Choo pair of shoes. I say it’s every woman’s Constitutional right, by golly, to look fabulous! I say not only do we deserve freedom of speech, we also deserve to look as gorgeous as we can, for as long as we grace God’s green Earth, with our Jimmy Choo shoes shoes to boot! And, as Tiny Tim says, God Bless Us, Everyone One of Us!!” So, I bid you Happy Holidays, to you and yours. I wish you Peace and Prosperity this year and into the coming years.
With many Blessings,