The teenage years are probably the most volatile in an individual’s life. It is as harrowing as it is beautiful. It is a tedious phase not just for the teenager who is going through a surge of hormonal changes, but also for the parent who has to manage the teenager. The reason why teenagers rebel and make terrible decisions is more biological than you could fathom. The prefrontal cortex, located in front of the frontal lobe of the brain that is responsible for decision making and performing other complex cognitive functions, is not fully formed during an individual’s teenage years.
It comes to a fruitful development in the early or mid-twenties. Therefore, the next time you blame your teenage daughter for rebelling against your fail-safe rules of living life, understand the fact that it is Science that is just making its presence felt. The laws of nature can manifest itself in ugly ways during your daughter’s or son’s teenage days. You need to stay calm and ditch the no-nonsense-strict-parenting technique in order to gear your child in a better direction.
Introduce Concepts of The Body Early On:
Some parents feel uncomfortable about discussing matters concerning biology with their teenage years. There are part shame and part apprehension about how their daughters and sons would perceive the concepts. As a result, adolescents and teenagers find themselves in a whirlpool of confusion and shame when they experience their first menstruation or the first ‘wet dream.’ Parents must understand that the body will function the way nature has planned it to.
Therefore, there is no use trying to conceal facts about their own bodies to them. They will eventually find everything out, and the odds for them losing hold on themselves could be really high. Be the best source of information to them. This will enhance and deepen your bond with your children and make you a better parent.
Say No To Helicopter Parenting:
Adult or not, everyone has a right to privacy. Do not be the kind of parent who likes to spring surprises on their children, and not in the right way. Do not pry into their lives. Give them the dignity of their privacy and stop trying to control every aspect of their lives. However, this does not mean that you have to stop bothering about the company your child keeps, and the habits that they have grown into. It simply means being smart enough to find out what your teenager is up to without being critical or intrusive. Helicopter parenting, especially if your child is passing through the teenage years, can turn out to be a horrible style of parenting.
There are always ways to find out if your teenager is carrying drugs in their bags without rummaging through their stuff.
Do Not Pull The Reins So Hard:
So we have already established the fact that teenagers are rebellious, and not without reason. Therefore, it would be your first grave mistake if you think that you could tether them down to your house and control them beyond limits. Be a mentor, not a moral police. Break the stigmas but do not set taboos. Allow your teenage son and daughter to make friends, go out, and have their share of fun. Do not be a spoilsport, but do not let them unguarded as well. Teenagers are bound to make rookie mistakes, which is why it is vital that they share everything of importance with you. Be that friend that they can always come for advice and support, and this is only possible when you stop controlling them and disciplining them without any substantial reason.
The moment you become a controlling parent in a bid to protect your child, you will only cause them more damage, as they will stop approaching you for counsel and start hiding things from you.
Do Not Set Unrealistic and Forced Standards:
Of course, you have dreams and aspirations for your offspring, but let them have their share of dreams too. Allow them to pursue their passion and not compare them with your neighbour’s son, who cracked his way into an Ivy League college. If you do not believe in your teenage daughter or son who is probably battling struggles of their own, no one else will. Your daughter does not have to go on to become a business tycoon only because your neighbour’s son did. She could become a social worker or a painter. The moment you set standards, your teenager will start revolting and eventually perish under pressure. Understand and empathise with them instead of berating them.
Allow Them To Navigate Through Life:
If you think that you can keep a weather eye on every aspect of your teenager’s life, it is a false spell that you need to jerk yourself out of. Your son could be dealing in weed and drugs right under your nose if he really wants to. Therefore, stop haranguing them and allow them to navigate through love, relationships, failed career choices, and maybe even a couple of terrible mistakes. Be there to guide them through and act like a cushion that absorbs all the shock. Life has a way of teaching the greatest of lessons. You can be there to help them make choices, but you can never make choices on their behalf. Allow them space to grow and become their own person.
Communicate and Make Them Feel Important:
It can be difficult to witness your teen’s downfall as a result of their erroneous choices, which is why it is essential that you talk to them about things that decide those choices. Talk to them about inclusivity, the downside of social media, cyber bullying, safe-sex, mental health, and other pressing issues. Your offspring is more intelligent than what you presume them to be. Communicate and take in their opinions as well. This will make them feel important and give you a tool to gauge their personality. The key to any good relationship is communication.
There are several ways to insure your adolescent or teenager’s life and future. For starters, you could always look up life insurance plans online and then go on to buy one. Being an extremely controlling parent and stripping your teenager off their agency is definitely not a golden parenting rule. Be more flexible in your parenting style, for it could undoubtedly cement the relationship and promise a bright future for your child.