How To Deal With a Disrespectful Grown Child That Ignores You

Parenting is difficult and complicated. We dedicate ourselves to keeping our children safe and healthy all the time. Even if they are grown up, we still have the urge to get connected to them all the time no matter what they do or where they live. How we deal with grown children who ignore their parents matter. It can be hurtful when we find our adult relationship with our children is getting strained. This is where we seek to know why we have grown children who ignore their parents.

Reasons why grown children are disrespectful to their parents

• They may never have learnt how to regulate themselves or process emotions.
• They may be getting bad treatment at work and end up releasing it on you.
• They are overwhelmed with feelings and you present an opportunity for them to vent.
• They may want to speak to you but they have no formula for starting the subject.
• The child might feel criticized by you and being disrespectful becomes their alternative.
• As a child, they felt controlled and now as an adult, you can no longer control them.

Each parent–child relationship is unique. The upbringings are different and no solution can be the same. However, in case of disrespect, there is a need for a boundary or have a candid conversation with the child so that you can iron out issues.

Any behavior change requires communication. You should be in a position as a parent to ask what the child is trying to communicate and what is driving the bad behavior or disrespect by the grown-up child. Three ways can be used to eliminate disrespect from a grown-up child as we foster a good relationship are; 

Seek to understand

Find out what is going on with the child. Choose an appropriate time to talk. Speak to them about the disrespect and, how it is affecting you. Make sure that all your attention is in the conversation thus choose a time that will support the success. It is also important to use the right tone so that you can have a fruitful conversation.

Repair the relationship

Most situations are a result of strife and tension as well as willingness to open up. As a parent, you should lead the way to repair hurt as well as restore closeness. When you take responsibility as a parent, this acts as an inspiration to the child in fulfilling their part. Admit as you see it. Ask the child about their reasoning without being defensive. Understand the child while asking them how they would like in the future. This might be challenging but it is the best way to create a good relationship.

Set healthy boundaries

As a parent, we should not allow is disrespect of any kind from our children. If they disrespect us, we should hold them accountable for their actions. We may understand and empathize as a precursor, but we must help them understand their impact. This will help them communicate respectfully to everyone.

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