Busy Life, Busy Wife: Are You Looking for Your Lost Libido?
You don’t have to be Stella to get your groove back. Stress, relationship problems, physical injuries, and illness can all kill a libido faster than Bruce Lee’s one-inch punch. Fortunately, a few simple life hacks will get you back in the game.
Take a Look At Alcohol Consumption
If you drink a lot of alcohol, try cutting back a bit. It’s a depressant, and it may be causing some issues. The easiest thing is to ignore this as a possible cause, but it’s an easy fix – easy from a physical perspective. It might not be easy psychologically if you think you might have a problem with drinking. Moreover, it’s not always easy to know how to find a rehab center. The good news is that they’re out there, and you don’t have to be pushed into AA. There are lots of options that don’t make you feel like a patient (or helpless).
Fix Your Sleep
Not getting enough sleep is a major libido-killer. Why? Because sleep deprivation (less than 8 hours of quality sleep) raises cortisol levels. Cortisol is the body’s stress hormone. If you’re under a lot of stress, your body will divert production of sex hormones to stress hormones. If it happens often enough, or if it is severe enough, you will suffer from pregnenolone steal.
This is a condition where your body uses up most of its available pregnenolone (the body’s master hormone) to make cortisol. When this happens, you won’t really feel like having sex. You won’t feel like doing anything really – except maybe sleeping or running around like a chicken with its head cut off. You won’t be able to focus, lose weight, and even food might be unappealing.
Fixing your sleep isn’t always easy either. It takes dedicated work, some blood and cortisol testing, and consistent changes in behavior to fix.
For example, you may have to start taking magnesium supplements in the evening before bed, supplement with melatonin, wear blue-blocking glasses to shield your eyes from blue light (i.e. from T.V. sets, computers, etc.) which shut down production of melatonin, which is necessary to get to sleep.
You may also need to investigate your nighttime sleeping behavior – for example, do you snore? If so, there are measures you can take to fix this problem, which usually involve a retainer-like device which will help realign your jaw so that you can breathe easier while sleeping.
Fix Psychological Issues
If you’re under a lot of stress, it’s time to sort it out. If you have to, consider seeking the help of a professional psychologist. That might sound extreme, and in many cases, it is. Most women can benefit from a simple de-stressing protocol that involves getting more sleep, going to a day spa at least once a month, turning the T.V. off at night and reading a book before slipping into bed, communicating more with your partner, planning “date nights” where you and your partner can just relax and have fun, and starting an introspection journal to help you sort out mixed feelings thoughts.
Switch Birth Control
Sometimes, the problem isn’t psychological. It’s physical. If you’re on a hormonal birth control, consider switching to a non-hormonal or low-hormone one, like the newer IUDs. Hormones can seriously interfere with your body’s natural hormone production, and can even reduce your libido. If you are in a monogamous relationship, natural family planning is your best bet.
Get More Exercise
A lot of women fear the weight room, but the truth is that lifting weights can jack up hormones that are responsible for an increased libido. As a woman, you don’t make enough testosterone to “get bulky” from lifting heavy weights. If you focus on strength training, as opposed to body building, the only thing that will happen to you is that you’ll get sexier and you’ll feel sexier. And, that’s something you and your partner will enjoy.
Guest Blogger: Kevin Martel has focused his medical career on women’s health. With years of experience and extensive research, he frequently writes about ways to improve quality of life on a variety of women’s health and wellness blogs.