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The Fashionable Housewife

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10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Having a Baby

Modified on March 9, 2022 at 1:27 AM

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It’s true when they say having a baby is a life-changing experience. From late-night feedings to establishing a routine, having a baby makes everything different. Plus, there are the unknowns and the endless learning moments as you go along. Of course, all of the uncertainties make it all worth it because, in the end, you have a child to love.

Thankfully, you don’t have to go in this alone. Many moms share the same experiences that you may face. So, speaking from experience, here are tens things I wish I knew before having a baby. 

1. Postpartum Depression and Anxiety Is Real

You’ve most likely heard of postpartum depression (PPD). It’s common, and 1 in 7 women experience it during their first year after birth. Being a new mom can be difficult — especially in the first few weeks postpartum. You could be flooded with intense emotions and not realize that you’re experiencing PPD or postpartum anxiety.

However, being aware ahead of time will help you mitigate those negative feelings. Of course, it’s not your fault. You’re also not alone. That’s why it’s critical to seek professional help as soon as you feel like something is off. 

2. Birth and Recovery Is Not Quite What You Expect

Expect the unexpected when the time comes to have your baby. Some moms have dreamy deliveries and would do it all over again. Others, not so much. It’s crucial not to get too attached to your delivery plans and be open to whatever you have to do.

Being prepared for all birthing scenarios — and knowing that you’re not fully in control of how your baby is born will take loads of pressure off — especially if it doesn’t go according to plan. 

During recovery, witch hazel and frozen pads are your friends. You’ll be sore and might even have hemorrhoids — which are tissues of blood vessels in the lower rectum that become swollen after giving birth. Witch hazel and a high-fiber diet will ease the discomfort.

3. Breastfeeding Takes Patience and Practice

If you plan to breastfeed, be aware that it can be tough. Some moms feel guilt when their milk doesn’t fully let down. Yet, when you’re in the hospital, your baby only needs a few teaspoons of milk to feel full.

It’s also crucial to recognize and understand that supplementing doesn’t make you less of a mom. It makes you more of one because you’re on the lookout for your baby’s well-being. 

Just know that breastfeeding is great for your baby. However, it might not be best for you. So, do what’s best and consider working with a lactation consultant if you find it challenging to solve your breastfeeding problems.

4. Accept All the Help You Can Get

You might be used to doing everything on your own, but you’ll most likely need to adjust to how you normally do things. So, you’re going to need all the help you can get. No matter how many baby books you’ve read or baby gadgets you bought, things happen.

So, when you’re feeling the pressure, and someone you trust offers to watch the baby — let them. That way, you can take a nap, a hot bath or have time to get out of the house. You’ll want to do anything you can to make you feel calm and like a normal person again.

5. It’s Okay Not to Love Every Waking Minute of Having a Baby

Try not to feel guilty when you’re not in a constant state of bliss and love once you have the baby at home. Many parents go through this phase. But, guess what? It’s a lot of hard work, so that doesn’t make you a bad parent. 

After the baby comes, you’ll notice that not every minute is joyful. Just know that you aren’t alone if you feel this way. You’re still a good parent, and that’s all that matters. 

6. You’ll Find Your Normal Again

After being a new mom for a while, you’ll start to wonder if things will ever be back to normal again. Of course, your life won’t be back to the way it was before. However, you will succumb to a new normal — and there will come a day where everything feels right again. Just remember, though, that moment may not happen as quickly as you might expect.

7. Trust Your Significant Other

The hard part is that you know every detail about your baby, and trusting your spouse can feel difficult. However, it’s good to have someone else share the load. You’ll need to have a break at some point.

Although they might not help the same way you do something, it doesn’t mean that what they’re doing is wrong. Start sharing the responsibility as soon as possible, so both of you can learn together.

8. Everything Comes in Phases

Take to heart that nothing is permanent when it comes to struggles. Whether it’s clinginess, sleep difficulties or feeding troubles, remember to give it time, and things will change. Those phases can feel like they last forever, but one thing is for sure, they will soon pass.

9. Connect With Other Moms

The sooner you connect with other moms, the more quickly you’ll start to enjoy your new role. Meeting friends might be harder than you expect. However, it’s always good to join a moms’ group and relate to one another with challenging experiences.

10. Take Time for Self-Care

Try to make time for yourself. Self-care is so important, and you’ll need to be easy on yourself when times get frustrating. One thing that helps is taking a deep breath and reminding yourself that you and your baby are learning. 

Plus, if you get the opportunity, try and do one thing each day to get out of the house. Once you feel comfortable leaving with the baby, it’ll do good for both of you to get fresh air.

Becoming a New Mother

Being a new mom certainly takes time, patience and acceptance. There will be numerous ups and downs, but the important thing is enjoying that rollercoaster. Before you know it, your little one won’t be so little anymore. So, enjoy the tiny moments, let your baby’s laughter fill you with love and embrace all that may come your way.

Related posts:

4 Things All New Moms Need4 Things All New Moms Need in 2022

Posted By The Fashionable Housewife
on March 7, 2022 at 6:37 PM
Filed Under: Breastfeeding, Natural Birth, Pregnancy
Tagged With: Baby, mom life, new baby, new mom, new moms

About The Fashionable Housewife

Sarah-Jean Ballard is the Editor in Chief of The Fashionable Housewife blog and Founder of Fashionable Media. Married to a sexy Molecular Biologist, housewife, mom to 5, homeschooler, Certified Personal Nutritionist and entrepreneur who's mission is to help moms just like you look and feel GREAT! Other interests include dancing, yoga, positive intactivism, natural birth and breastfeeding support, babywearing, paleo & gluten-free cooking, and promoting an overall healthy lifestyle to all.

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The Fashionable Housewife is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for blogs and websites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. We also participate in various other affiliate programs, and we sometimes get a commission on purchases made through our links. There is no extra cost to you! For more info, please see our Disclosure & Privacy Policy.

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Sarah-Jean Ballard

Hi! I’m Sarah-Jean. I’m a Christian, the wife of a handsome Molecular Biologist, and the homeschooling mother of 5 beautiful kids!

I enjoy homesteading, reading, writing, cooking, baking, crafting, home decorating, Xtend Barre, and of course, fashion!

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𝕊𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕙 | Fashionable Homemaker & Large Family Life
You do not find a happy life. You make it. 

That’s the biggest lesson that grief has taught me. If I just wait around to be happy again, I’ll die sad. 

You don’t get through grief and come out the other side. That’s not how it works. You learn how to grow around it like a tree grows around a rock that’s in the way. You don’t wait for the rock to move. Cause it’s not gonna. 

Choose happy. And then make it happen. 

#choosehappy #joyinthejourney #griefjourney #healingfromtrauma
8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favor 8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favorite. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, @daeinexplains 🥰

The last 20 years with you have been my favorite years on this earth. ❤️ 

If I did anything right in my life, it was when I decided to give my heart to you.  You are my best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my rock, my everything. 

I love you.

#couplegoals #marriedlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #weddingday #marriagegoals #yourestilltheone
Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍ Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍♀️

This little guy always asks to help when he sees me cleaning the house, washing the floors, doing laundry, or emptying the dishwasher. That’s what I love about Montessori parenting - it allows kids to do  big jobs and in turn makes them eager to help! 

He was over the moon when we gave him the @lovevery floor mop that actually works! He uses it daily now. The mopping pad is machine washable and you can refill the fluid container on it. I usually just do water and a drop of essential oils because he loves it when everything smells clean! 😜 

Definitely recommend! If you want to grab this mop for your little helper, it’s in the Storyteller Play Kit from Lovevery for 3 year olds. 

LlNK is in my bio to get FREE shipping! 💃🏼

#lovevery #loveverytoddler #loveverypartner #montessoriathome #montessoriplayroom #montessoritoddler
Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hol Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hole. 

Sometimes we outgrown relationships. Sometimes we realize someone else isn’t a good influence on our lives. Sometimes we realize we aren’t a good influence for someone else. Sometimes we need to let things go that aren’t good for us in order to grow. And that’s ok. 

Stop trying to sit at a table you are no longer welcome at. Just be yourself, focus on God, love your family and friends, and the right people will gravitate to you. ✌🏻 

#raisingsaints #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #selflovejourney #growingpains #selfcaresunday
When your toaster breaks from a power surge you ta When your toaster breaks from a power surge you take that as a sign that it’s time to upgrade! 🤪

It wasn’t hard to pick a new 4 slice toaster. As soon as I saw this one from @haden_usa I added it to my cart. I bought it from @lordandtaylor because it had the fastest shipping and I didn’t want to wait! 

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The “Steffi” in green are the perfect boots for ushering in spring weather with their delicious vintage leather and worn-in look right out of the box. I love the chunky lug soles and inside zippers to get them on and off easily. 

These are the boots you’ll want to wear again and again. And again. 

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Guess it’s ok to be a crazy chicken lady and have a homestead now! 🤣

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#homemaker #housewifelife #homestyler #momlife
Today was my due date for Dylan. Considering he w Today was my due date for Dylan.

Considering he was my 6th child, it's possible he would have been here by now. It’s been extra hard for me this week. 

Despite my best efforts to be strong and stay positive, I am completely brokenhearted. I’m just being honest. I could pretend I’m fine, but that doesn't do me or anyone else any good to be dishonest about the pain of miscarriage or the grief that comes with losing a child. 

My heart is completely shattered from having an empty womb and an empty nursery. An empty bassinet in the corner and unused tiny newborn outfits, all washed, folded, and ready… for nothing. 

It makes me physically sick to my stomach when I think about it all and I can't even fathom how I got here. How did I get here? 

This isn't how it's supposed to be! I should be holding a newborn right now! It’s so unfair. 

In an instant, my baby was gone and there was nothing I could do to change that. 

It doesn't matter how much time passes or what else happens in life, I will always miss him. My heart with always long for my baby. 

Those who haven't experienced loss tell you that "Don’t worry! Things will get better, just focus on the positive!" but people who actually know this grief and what it actually feels like to lose a baby, won’t tell you that. They know this hard road. They understand that unfortunately you don't just “get over it.” 

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It is unpredictable.
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It is all-consuming.
And it completely shatters you when you don’t expect it. 

You don’t get over it. You don’t forget. You simply learn to live with it. And I’m learning to live with it every day. 

It’s been 137 days I’ve had to live without my baby. 

Lord Jesus, please… hold me extra tight tonight. 

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You do not find a happy life. You make it. 

That’s the biggest lesson that grief has taught me. If I just wait around to be happy again, I’ll die sad. 

You don’t get through grief and come out the other side. That’s not how it works. You learn how to grow around it like a tree grows around a rock that’s in the way. You don’t wait for the rock to move. Cause it’s not gonna. 

Choose happy. And then make it happen. 

#choosehappy #joyinthejourney #griefjourney #healingfromtrauma
8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favor 8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favorite. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, @daeinexplains 🥰

The last 20 years with you have been my favorite years on this earth. ❤️ 

If I did anything right in my life, it was when I decided to give my heart to you.  You are my best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my rock, my everything. 

I love you.

#couplegoals #marriedlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #weddingday #marriagegoals #yourestilltheone
Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍ Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍♀️

This little guy always asks to help when he sees me cleaning the house, washing the floors, doing laundry, or emptying the dishwasher. That’s what I love about Montessori parenting - it allows kids to do  big jobs and in turn makes them eager to help! 

He was over the moon when we gave him the @lovevery floor mop that actually works! He uses it daily now. The mopping pad is machine washable and you can refill the fluid container on it. I usually just do water and a drop of essential oils because he loves it when everything smells clean! 😜 

Definitely recommend! If you want to grab this mop for your little helper, it’s in the Storyteller Play Kit from Lovevery for 3 year olds. 

LlNK is in my bio to get FREE shipping! 💃🏼

#lovevery #loveverytoddler #loveverypartner #montessoriathome #montessoriplayroom #montessoritoddler
Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hol Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hole. 

Sometimes we outgrown relationships. Sometimes we realize someone else isn’t a good influence on our lives. Sometimes we realize we aren’t a good influence for someone else. Sometimes we need to let things go that aren’t good for us in order to grow. And that’s ok. 

Stop trying to sit at a table you are no longer welcome at. Just be yourself, focus on God, love your family and friends, and the right people will gravitate to you. ✌🏻 

#raisingsaints #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #selflovejourney #growingpains #selfcaresunday
When your toaster breaks from a power surge you ta When your toaster breaks from a power surge you take that as a sign that it’s time to upgrade! 🤪

It wasn’t hard to pick a new 4 slice toaster. As soon as I saw this one from @haden_usa I added it to my cart. I bought it from @lordandtaylor because it had the fastest shipping and I didn’t want to wait! 

No fancy electronics, screens, or extra features we don’t need. Just simple, straight forward functions and perfect results everytime. Plus it matches all my @cafeappliances too! 😂👍🏻

What do you think of this 4 slice toaster?! 

#toasters #kitchenappliances #kitchendesign #kitchendecor #whitekitchen #farmhousekitchen #farmhousestyle #whiteappliances
I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @en I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @enjoiya! 💃🏼 

The “Steffi” in green are the perfect boots for ushering in spring weather with their delicious vintage leather and worn-in look right out of the box. I love the chunky lug soles and inside zippers to get them on and off easily. 

These are the boots you’ll want to wear again and again. And again. 

Use my coupon code BALLARD20 to get 20% off your order! Find them on www.enjoiya.com

#leatherbooties #enjoiya #italianshoes #realmomstyle #momstyle #momstyletips
All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with the prices of eggs right now! 🤪 🐔 🥚 

Guess it’s ok to be a crazy chicken lady and have a homestead now! 🤣

#momlife #crazychickenlady #homesteadlife
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