1. Every time you sit down, anyone can see that you are
flossing your butt cheeks wearing a thong.
2. Your pants are so tight we can see every valley, dip, and dimple.
3. Every time you bend over, I’m reminded of a plumber with a drug addiction (just say no to crack).
4. No one has to ask whether you prefer boxers or briefs to know the answer.
5. Your push up bra has pushed your boobs up so far that they appear to be strangling your neck.
6. Your tampon string is longer than your shorts (gross I know, but I’ve seen it).
7. You appear to be smuggling two pearls underneath your shirt.
8. Your pants are so tight that when you take them off, the design on your underwear is imprinted on your butt.
9. Your shirt is so sheer, people can see the color and make of your bra.
10. You have been mistaken as a hooker at one point or another.