When Is Mediation a Good Move in a Dissolution or Divorce?
Divorce and dissolution of marriage are never easy. Emotions are often fiery, and important financial and personal decisions need to be made at the same time. Many people assume that going to court is the only way forward, but that’s not always the case; mediation offers an alternative that can be less stressful, less expensive, and more cooperative.
So when is mediation a good move in a divorce or dissolution? The answer depends on your circumstances, your goals, and your ability to work with your spouse during the process, among other factors.
What Mediation Looks Like
Mediation is a process where both spouses meet with a neutral third party (the mediator) who helps guide discussions and negotiations. The mediator doesn’t take sides or make decisions for you, and each party should have a lawyer to represent them in the process. The mediator’s goal is to help both parties communicate more effectively, identify key issues, and work toward agreements that are acceptable to everyone involved.
Unlike a trial, mediation sessions are private and flexible. Couples often have more control over scheduling and the pace of the process. The tone is also generally less adversarial, since the goal is to collaborate rather than “win.”
When Mediation Makes Sense
Mediation can be a good move in many situations, especially when:
· You want to save money. Court battles can be expensive, often requiring multiple hearings and extensive attorney fees. Mediation is typically much less costly, making it appealing for couples who want to preserve financial resources.
· You want faster results. Courts are often backed up, and it can take months or even years to finalize a divorce through litigation. Mediation generally moves at a quicker pace.
· You and your spouse can still communicate. Mediation relies on open conversation. If you and your spouse can sit down and talk, even if you don’t agree on everything, you may be strong candidates for mediation.
· You want to keep things private. Court proceedings are usually public record. Mediation sessions are confidential, which helps protect your personal and financial details.
· You want control over the outcome. In court, a judge decides everything from asset division to child custody. In mediation, you and your spouse remain the decision-makers.
When Mediation May Not Work
That said, mediation isn’t for everyone. It may not be the right move if:
· There’s a history of abuse, intimidation, or a significant power imbalance.
· One party refuses to compromise or engage in good faith.
· There are complex legal issues that require a judge’s intervention.
· Either spouse is hiding assets or being dishonest about finances.
In these situations, the fairness and safety of the process may be compromised, making litigation a better option.
How Mediation Can Benefit Families
One of the strongest arguments for mediation is its positive impact on families, especially when children are involved. Divorce can be hard on kids, but mediation often helps reduce conflict and encourages cooperation. Parents who choose mediation are more likely to preserve a respectful relationship, which benefits children in the long run.
Because mediation fosters communication, it also lays groundwork for healthier co-parenting. Parents can create custody arrangements and parenting plans together, giving them more flexibility than what a court might impose. This sense of collaboration doesn’t just help during the divorce itself; it can also make future disagreements easier to resolve. Parents who learn how to work together during mediation often find it easier to settle disputes later without returning to court.
The Role of Lawyers in Mediation
Even in mediation, lawyers can still play an important role. They may not be present in every session, but they can advise their clients behind the scenes and review any agreements before they’re finalized. This ensures that the outcome is fair and legally sound. In some cases, both spouses may choose to have attorneys participate directly in the sessions, which is especially helpful if there are significant assets or child custody issues involved. Having legal guidance within the process adds another layer of protection and helps both parties feel more confident that their interests are being considered.
The Emotional Benefits of Mediation
Beyond the financial and legal advantages, mediation can also be easier emotionally. Litigation often frames divorce as a battle, with one side “winning” and the other “losing.” Mediation, on the other hand, focuses on problem-solving. This approach can make the process less stressful and reduce lingering resentment between spouses. For couples who will continue to interact after the divorce, such as co-parents, maintaining a more civil relationship is often invaluable.
The Bottom Line
Mediation can be a smart move in a divorce or dissolution if both parties are willing to work together, communicate openly, and seek solutions that benefit everyone. It’s often faster, less expensive, and less stressful than going to court, and it gives couples more control over the outcome. However, it’s not always the right fit. In cases involving abuse, dishonesty, or entrenched conflict, litigation may be the safer and more effective path.