Top Thanksgiving Conversation Starters, Courtesy of The Skimm

So it’s almost Thanksgiving, and you’re almost ready. Your turkey’s brining à la Alton Brown; your tablescape would make Martha proud. You’ve even managed to come up with a great outfit.

But with all that cooking, cleaning, and decorating, you’re kind of clueless as to what’s been going on in the world. And this is a problem— not only because sparkling banter is a hallmark of a great meal but also because without other news to discuss, there’s the very real danger that politics will seep into any conversational void. Then before long someone’s yelling, someone’s crying, and poor Granddaddy is brandishing the wishbone like a shiv. Worst of all: everyone’s forgotten about the fabulous feast you killed yourself preparing, the one you bought allspice (seriously, allspice!) for.

Never fear. The always-up-to-date ladies of theSkimm have put together a primer on current events. If you’re not familiar, theSkimm brings you all the news you need to know in a delicious little nutshell. For me, it’s a lifesaver whenever I encounter an adult homo sapien and want to sound informed on topics other than the pros and cons of potty training techniques.

So here’s a few trinkets to keep you fashionably informed:

What to say while watching the parade… Is it wrong if Snoopy just doesn’t do it for me anymore? When’s football on? It’s not an American holiday without some pigskin. It’s a Thanksgiving tradition for the Detroit Lions to be crushed, and this year they play the big bad Houston Texans. I’m just hoping to fight off the tryptophan long enough to catch the Washington Redskin’s exciting rookie RGIII colonize the Cowboys. Maybe I’ll even have room for Tom Brady and the New England Patriots, who take on the NY Jets. How can you do a proper touchdown dance after all that Turkey? Gobble, gobble, jiggle, jiggle.

What to say after you give thanks… I demand to lead it next time! The Church of England voted against letting women become bishops, which guarantees some members to be up in arms and is a reminder that the Church is stuck somewhere between the Queen and her corgis and topless Kate Middleton on vacation.

What to say when your button pops off… I haven’t been this full since I OD’d on Twinkies in middle school. Man, those were the days, when the Wonder Bread was free-flowing. Now Hostess’s website says it all: “Hostess Brands is Closed,” after failing to reach an agreement with union reps which would prevent liquidation and save 18,000 jobs. Hostess will return to bankruptcy court today to argue for liquidation and selling off its assets. At least it didn’t happen on Christmas when Ho Ho jokes would be distasteful.

What to say when you think your family is insane… How the hell am I going to survive? At least, I’m not alone.

And what to do when you need more stuff to talk about…

Sign up for theSkimm here.
Find on Facebook.
Follow on Twitter.

Who Are theSkimms?

We are two women in their 20s who hail from New York and Chicago. Our startup romance is one for the books — we met on a rainy day in Rome while we were both studying abroad in college. We bonded over a mutual love of fried artichokes. What we didn’t know as we struggled to order in Italian, was that we’d reconnect years later working in our own country’s capital. By that point, we had become professional storytellers, as producers for NBC News- working in breaking news, political news, and documentaries. We clicked as colleagues and as friends and it didn’t take long for theSkimm to take form.

In our spare time (which is rare) we can be found spooking each other with Law & Order: SVU marathons and trying to scheme our way into a free Equinox membership.

For two girls who grew up more Morning Glory than The Social Network, it took a lot of guts, and white wine, for us to make theSkimm a reality. We see ourselves as a part of a generation where women are out-earning men in paychecks and degrees. We’ve grabbed our seats at the table, now it’s time to Skimm to the head.