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Things You Should Absolutely Never Do as the Parent of a College Student

Modified on September 22, 2021 at 4:05 PM

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Young men and women get into college when they are starting to undergo a series of significant physical, social, and emotional changes. During late adolescence, these students are concerned with establishing independence and occupational identity. Issues of personal morality and creating a code of values also become more critical. The switch to college offers a fresh environment and a living scenario that supports these processes. 

That said, the changes that typify transition to college life are seldom smooth and may necessitate some form of adjustment in parenting skills. It is usual for young college students to go through mood swings, oscillating between being very excited at one moment and feel like dropping out at another. Also, students may get homesick during their freshman year. Some may not visit home as much as their parents like as a way of showing independence. 

As a parent, you have a job of supporting your student with support and offering them a feeling of security as they acclimatize with their new surroundings. You need to balance your need to maintain contact and control the growing independence that your student is starting to acquire. It all seems confusing, and this is why we have created this article. Here, we outline things parents shouldn’t do concerning their college students. 

Do Not Pick Their Major for Them 

One of the most critical decisions for college students is choosing their majors. According to a recent survey, most students find choosing their majors challenging, with 51 percent lacking confidence in their preferred career path by the time they enroll in college. This could be one of the reasons why some parents feel that they need to choose majors for their children, assuming that they know what is best. 

There is no doubt that all parents want what is best for their kids. However, the moment one becomes a parent, life becomes more than just what is good for oneself. Whatever you may have considered pleasurable in the past now takes a backseat compared to the child’s needs. 

It becomes a habit for parents to slip into the notion that they know what is best for their children regardless of the issue. However, this will not always be true. 

It can be challenging for parents and students to cut the cord when faced with the critical decision of picking a major. Some parents find it ideal to start a conversation about college majors early on, allowing students time to think about options and explore ideas. Others may face the need to impose a major on their kids. 

Often, the interest and preferences of the parent may not align with those of the student. For example, your student may have a passion for poetry, but you don’t think that line of work will pay the bills. In the end, some parents get torn between offering true independence to their students and guiding them towards better job prospects. 

Some jobs offer a promise of better remuneration once obtained, making them ideal choices for most parents. However, the courses required tend to be difficult, making them a nuisance for students, hence the need for MBA essay services. Moreover, it can be challenging for the learners to reconcile their passion and realize that the preferred field may not provide the necessary financial security after graduation.

While the parent may have the student’s interest at heart, the learner will attend the classes. Also, the job market has gone through numerous changes in terms of workforce structure and job requirements. That said, parents cannot be expected to become passive spectators in the lives of their children. The ideal situation is that picking a college major should be the outcome of honest and open discussion. 

As a parent, don’t guilt your student into joining a specific school or organization. Instead, offer guidance, but allow the students to explore their unique interests and build meaningful connections. 

Don’t Ridicule Their New Ideas and Passions 

As a parent of a college student, you should encourage creativity, which involves using imagination and ideas to develop something of value. Throughout your student’s education, creativity will play an essential role in success and development. Creativity is nurtured and is often a result of a way of thinking rather than innate talent. 

As your student sets off for college, they will come back to you with new ideas and passions. Some of these may be scary to you as a parent, especially when they don’t fit in the vision you have for your student. That said, expect your college student to meet new challenges, participate in new activities, and develop new interests. If done right, the new experiences will change who your student is as a person somehow. 

Some of the new passions may not seem ideal to you, but you should avoid ridiculing them. Some of them may be periodical and will pass after some time. But, even if they don’t pass, you have succeeded in raising an independent individual capable of charting their path. 

Avoid Begging Them to Come Home Frequently 

Many college students struggle with homesickness, while others treasure the new independence and want to spend more time on their own once they have gone to college. However, according to a recent survey, more than 30 percent of college students experience low-level homesickness. In other words, homesickness is a regular occurrence. 

That said, connecting with the new college environment is essential for your student to build a new home feeling. It would help if you encouraged the student to explore new exciting clubs or hobbies. As a parent, you ought to offer reassurance whenever your student calls. From time to time, the learner will need to hear a familiar voice. 

However, no matter how much you feel your student wishes to return home, avoid allowing too many trips back home. Most parents make the mistake of allowing their homesick sons and daughters to visit home too often. When the student travels home every weekend, it can be harmful to their chances of overcoming homesickness. 

How will the student concur homesickness when they are always home whenever they get the opportunity? Moreover, asking students to come home at every opportunity could be depriving them of opportunities to make social, intellectual, and emotional connections with their campuses. 

While letting go may seem complicated, don’t let your student visit home too regularly. You could set a weekend each month when the student can visit and spend time with the family. 

Another mistake that parents make is not keeping their distance and failing to give the students space for self-exploration. In the same breadth, visiting your student on-campus too often will not help them adapt to their new environments. Of course, if your son or daughter studies close by, there may be the temptation to be with them every weekend. Avoid this as it could be detrimental to their ability to connect with their new college. You could go out with them to dinner once in a while, but give them some space to grow. 

Here are a few additional tips on how to help with homesickness:

  • Recognize that feeling homesick is temporary and regular;
  • Maintain open lines of communication with your student;
  • Encourage the student to create new traditions to make campus life feel like home;
  • Help the student set expectations for the college experience. 

Avoid Fixing Their Problems for Them 

As a parent, you may be used to keeping tabs on your student and checking in with teachers to assess progress. You may also be tempted to ask for feedback from professors. However, you have to understand that, in college, professors will not give you information regarding your student’s progress. Furthermore, there are legal ramifications for doing so. 

You may also have been used to calling the school to check on disciplinary issues. However, college students are expected to work out their problems and seek out support during distress. Trying to help your student will likely meet hesitance or resistance from the institution. Being too concerned about your child’s welfare will not work with the university. It also means that the college may become hesitant to help the student because the parent always tries to fix problems. 

So, as a parent, if your style demands explanations of grades and consulting on disciplinary issues, it may be time to take a backseat. Instead, allow your student to learn how to handle challenges on their own. 

You may have to accept that your student will likely make a few mistakes and experience some failures. However, all this is a part of learning and growth. After all, challenges build resilience, which is a desired attribute in the employment world. 

Instead of always trying to fix problems for your student, train them and guide them in problem-solving. Communicate with your son or daughter frequently and share concerns. You could also help your student to brainstorm solutions to some challenges. Even when checking in the face of challenges, let the student play a leading role rather than pestering them with questions. 

Also, avoid the following:

  • Speaking for them, including posing as them using their email accounts;
  • Being overbearing and not giving them space to struggle;
  • Checking in every other day;
  • Constantly asking about grades;
  • Reacting to their emotions. 

Bottom Line: How to Parent a College Student 

Parenting a college student can be challenging as one is torn between giving room for independence and offering the required support. However, understand that your student is growing and changing, and your role should be to allow them to become a responsible and functional adult. So, back off a little and allow the students to have their way. It may be challenging for some time, but this is important for the growth of your son or daughter. 

Related posts:

9 Reasons Why Being a Student Is Awesome9 Reasons Why Being a Student Is Awesome

Posted By The Fashionable Housewife
on September 21, 2021 at 9:53 AM
Filed Under: Parenting
Tagged With: College, college classes, college students, Parenting, parenting advice, parenting tips, student, students, studying

About The Fashionable Housewife

Sarah-Jean Ballard is the Editor in Chief of The Fashionable Housewife blog and Founder of Fashionable Media. Married to a sexy Molecular Biologist, housewife, mom to 5, homeschooler, Certified Personal Nutritionist and entrepreneur who's mission is to help moms just like you look and feel GREAT! Other interests include dancing, yoga, positive intactivism, natural birth and breastfeeding support, babywearing, paleo & gluten-free cooking, and promoting an overall healthy lifestyle to all.

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Sarah-Jean Ballard

Hi! I’m Sarah-Jean. I’m a Christian, the wife of a handsome Molecular Biologist, and the homeschooling mother of 5 beautiful kids!

I enjoy homesteading, reading, writing, cooking, baking, crafting, home decorating, Xtend Barre, and of course, fashion!

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Looking at pictures of my last birth makes me grie Looking at pictures of my last birth makes me grieve my baby in Heaven that I just lost a few weeks ago. 

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READ this post before you LIKE it. 💔💔💔 A READ this post before you LIKE it. 💔💔💔

A few weeks ago, we were planning to announce that baby #6 would be joining our crew in January 2023, but instead we've been processing the death of our beloved child... 

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📷 birth photography by Melissa Lee Photography

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“He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that, free from sins, we might live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.” - 1 Peter‬ ‭2:24‬ 

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We are already dreaming about going back to @story We are already dreaming about going back to @storylandnh! 🥳🤩

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In these uncertain times we live in, it sometimes In these uncertain times we live in, it sometimes seems silly to decorate or worry about how things “look” but you have to remember that changing the world starts at home. Being a homemaker is an important and often overlooked job. Home is the starting point for love, life, and dreams. So go ahead and make your home look good! 

There’s no place like home. 🏠❤️

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Looking at pictures of my last birth makes me grie Looking at pictures of my last birth makes me grieve my baby in Heaven that I just lost a few weeks ago. 

Knowing all the firsts we won’t be getting. All the newborn snuggles, that new baby smell, the joy of breastfeeding, it’s all gone. Slipped through my fingers in a moment, for no reason. 

No one thinks it will ever happen to them. Nothing prepares you for the loss of your child and no one can fully understand and appreciate the intense level of grief and pain until it happens to you. And if you do not understand this kind of grief, consider yourself very, very blessed and fortunate. 

Sometimes being open to life, also means being open to loss. 💔

#miscarriage #miscarriagesupport #miscarriageawareness #lossmom
READ this post before you LIKE it. 💔💔💔 A READ this post before you LIKE it. 💔💔💔

A few weeks ago, we were planning to announce that baby #6 would be joining our crew in January 2023, but instead we've been processing the death of our beloved child... 

At our 20 week anatomy scan, when we were joyfully expecting to see what our little babe looked like, we were met the words that will haunt us forever - "We can't find a heartbeat."

Two days later, we found ourselves in a foreign environment, after 5 beautiful homebirths, naturally delivering our stillborn son in a hospital. 

Dylan Marinus Ballard was born on August 31st, (our first son's birthday) at 6:43pm and weighing only 7.5 oz. 

Tearfully and filled with grief beyond words, we had to say hello and goodbye at the same time. Our beautiful son. 

Seeing his face, holding his tiny body, and admiring his little toes that looked just like daddy's was just a glimpse into the miracle of life that God allows us to partake in. When you fully realize the sanctity of human life, it makes it even harder to say goodbye. Not being able to take my baby home with me was the most gut wrenching, heartbreaking pain imaginable. It is a pain unlike all others that only mothers who have lost a child can even begin to understand. 

The hardest part of losing a child, is living everyday afterwards. It's such a devastating loss, a loss so unimaginable, that you have no idea how you will get through each day or survive the grief that is in your heart. No matter what age a child is, a parent's heart is forever tied to that child and there's nothing that will break that tie, including the passing of time. That's the beauty of unconditional love. 

Our only consolation is knowing that our little saint is in the loving arms of Jesus now. We look forward to meeting him in Heaven someday.

📷 birth photography by Melissa Lee Photography

#griefjourney #griefandloss #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #griefawareness #griefislove #itsokaynottobeokay #largefamily #largefamilymom #bigfamily #bigfamilylife #lossmom #pregnancyloss #momlife #pregnancylossawareness #stillbirth #stillborn #stillbornstillloved #stillbornawareness #babyloss #miscarriagemomma #bereavedparents #lossmoms
Some of my favorite fall eats here! 😋 What ar Some of my favorite fall eats here! 😋 

What are your favorite fall comfort foods???

#momlife #homemaker #octobervibes #feelslikefall
Need an easy solution for dinner but don’t want Need an easy solution for dinner but don’t want fast food? @wildgrainbox delivers bake-from-frozen breads, pastries, and fresh pasta right to your door!

Clean ingredients, real sourdough, artisanal pastries, hand cut fresh pasta, eco friendly shipping, and they support small bakeries! 👩🏼‍🍳

Every item is freezer to table in 25 minutes or less so you can enjoy homemade quality food, FAST. I whipped up a loaf of sourdough bread and delicious pasta with marinara sauce in under 30 minutes for me and my husband to enjoy a little date night at home. It was like going to a fancy Italian restaurant, but we go to eat in our pajamas!

We love that Wildgrain is passionate about delivering slow-fermented sourdough bread‘s, fresh pasta, and artisan pastries directly to your door and I love that they are local to me! 

WANT TO TRY IT?! The first 50 people to use my coupon code and link can get $30 off their first box PLUS free croissants in every box! 

Use coupon code FASHIONABLEWIFE to snag this deal QUICK! 💃🏼

LlNK in bio and in stories! 🛒

#momlife #homemaker #mywildgrain #datenightideas
Introducing Caraway’s most requested products, t Introducing Caraway’s most requested products, the NEW Mini Fry Pan & Mini Sauce Pan!!! 

By popular demand, they now have miniature versions of their two best-selling À La Carte pieces, now in compact and cute sizes!! 

These are designed for cooking smaller portions and are a perfect complement to your current Caraway cookware collection. 

🥳Get 10% off the new Mini Fry Pan & Mini Sauce Pan using my link in my bio! 🥳

#momlife #homemaker #homelifestyle #kitcheninspo
What better way to welcome fall than with @caraway What better way to welcome fall than with @caraway_home latest products, the Mini Fry Pan & Mini Sauce Pan!!! 

By popular demand, they now have miniature versions of their two best-selling À La Carte pieces, now in compact & cute sizes. These are designed for cooking smaller portions and make the perfect complement to your current Caraway collection. 

Get 10% off the new Mini Fry Pan & Mini Sauce Pan using my link! 🛒

⁣LlNK is in my bio and stories! 💃🏼 Or use code FASHIONABLEWIFE-MINI22 
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#cottageliving #decor #decoration #farmhouselove #hgtv #homedesign #interior #interiordecor #interiorstyling #kitchendesign #kitchendiner #kitcheninspo #kitchenremodel #kitchenrenovation #kitchensofinstagram #magnoliahome #modernfarmhouse #modernfarmhousestyle #neutralabodes #neutraldecor #neutralhome #neutralkitchen #neutralstyle #neutraltones #newbuild #newbuildhome #newbuildjourney #quartzworktops #shakerkitchen #whitekitchen
Can you imagine a more beautiful thing?! I can’t Can you imagine a more beautiful thing?! I can’t! 🤣

My son is loving our @treasuresfromjennifer calendar and keeping track of the days now. He keeps telling me how many days it is until the first day of fall rather than asking me 900 times “when is it going to be fall, mama?!” 😜

Do you have a calendar or weather board in your home for your children? 

#homeschoolmom #homeschoolroom #homeschoollife #homeschoollookslikethis
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