Marriages on the Rocks: Spotting the Subtle Signs of a Spouse Who Wants Out

It is not always immediately obvious that a marriage is on the rocks, although there are often a number of subtle signs that suggest things are heading in the wrong direction.

There are many couples each year who end up seeking a divorce settlement and you don’t want to be one of the statistics! It is possible to spot signs that your man is no longer interested in being married to you, which is what we are going to talk about today.

Lack of Loving

A good number of marriages that end up in divorce, start to break down in the bedroom department.

If you have been together for a number of years, it is perfectly normally for a reduction in the amount of sex you are enjoying with each other, especially if you have young children. A deep and loving relationship will often transgress from passionate lovemaking on a regular basis to a more intimate understanding of each other’s physical and emotional needs.

There really is no average for sexual activity in the bedroom between married couples, but whatever is normal for you is a pattern that you have settled into. Any change in that pattern and a cessation of activities or a general lack of interest in spending time in the bedroom with you, could be a sign that things are starting to turn sour in the marriage.

Finding Fault

If your spouse has started to take almost every opportunity to criticize the things that you do and say, this could be an indication that they are seeking justification for the decision they have made in their mind, to end the relationship and seek a divorce.

Regular negative comments and a general lack of empathy about the way you behave and what you say, are common indicators of the fact your spouse may well be using this tactic to reaffirm their decision to get divorced. Try to gently tell your spouse how these comments make you feel and avoid getting into an argument over the situation. This is often the time to avoid responding to negativity. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

Acting Single

Some partners who are wanting out from a relationship, start laying the foundations for the single life that they may be planning.

If you notice that your spouse has started developing some new habits and is taking more care about their appearance than before, this could be an indication that they are getting ready for being single.

Nothing wrong with developing new hobbies and improving your appearance of course, but if these changes coincide with some other behavioral changes such as a lack of interest in sex, then this could well be telling you that a potential divorce is on the horizon. You should, of course, try to talk to your spouse about these things and gently voice your concern. Don’t place blame on your spouse. It’s better to focus on how certain actions (or lack of action) is making you feel. If you can’t talk things out without fighting, it’s time to consider marriage counseling.

Always Working

Another potential indicator that something is wrong, is when your spouse changes their current work pattern and starts spending more time away from home.

It could be a positive move that your spouse is trying to get noticed and earn a promotion but it could also be a sign that they are keen to stay away from the house and you, for as long as possible.

Taking some of these potential signs in isolation is not a surefire indication that your spouse is looking for a divorce, but sadly, there is very often no smoke without fire.

When To Seek Help

If you notice any of the above mentioned negative patterns, it’s probably time to seek help. I believe that almost every marriage is worth saving, so don’t throw in the towel just yet. Find a local marriage counselor by searching online or asking your doctor if he can give you a referral to a marriage therapist. Even if your spouse won’t agree to counseling, there are lots of amazing resources online, books you can read and support groups you can join that will at least help you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and always try to talk things out with your spouse, even if it’s hard.