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4 Questions To Help Keep Your Marriage Relationship Fresh (From Someone Who’s Been There and Is Doing That)

Modified on August 7, 2020 at 6:16 PM

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When you and your hubby were dating, did you talk about how awesome it would be to be married and to grow older together? Having a partner to do life with is very special. It is important to continually nurture your marriage using effective communication so you can both enjoy both the high and low seasons of life.

At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new and things in your life are changing so rapidly that life propels you along the way. School. Jobs. Kids. Things are continually interesting and if you hit a comfortable season where things become routine – it actually feels good to be in a predictable groove with your spouse.

The predictable groove can be wonderful but taking your relationship for granted can cause your fun relationship routine to become stale and boring.  

Remember, you and your spouse are growing every day. The two of you are different than you were a year ago. Some of your strengths have developed and some of your weaknesses have surfaced. It’s a natural part of growing up together as a couple and helps keep your marriage relationship fresh!

To keep things fresh – I suggest that at the beginning of every change of season you have a heart to heart talk with your spouse and ask yourselves and each other these 4 questions:

1.  How Are You Doing Physically?

Are each of you taking care of yourselves – is there anything you could add to or take away from your daily lives that would make you healthier?  Are you getting a chance to exercise?  Do you need to make any adjustments in your schedule so you both have time to work-out? Or sleep?

Are you both happy with your intimacy? Are you making love frequently enough? Once kids enter the picture leisurely lovemaking might need to give way to quickies in the closet! So, ask each other if there are any adjustments you’d like to make in the next few months. Maybe take turns taking care of your friend’s kids overnight so they can have an alone night and then let them return the favor.

2.  How Are You Doing Emotionally? 

Are there any issues you’ve been avoiding talking about? Do you have some predictable conflicts that you need to work through?  Are you feeling loved and supported by your spouse? What can either of you do so that both of you are feeling more supported by the other in the next few months?

If there are conflicts you seem to have repeatedly, schedule a time to talk things through with a counselor or a trusted older married couple. Some times having a fresh pair of eyes on a conflict can help you work things out.

3.  How Are You Doing Financially? 

Are the two of you open about your spending and saving habits? Are you both up to date on logins and passwords? Over the next couple of months are there any adjustments you need to make in your finances? Are you saving for unexpected expenses? Is there any charitable giving you’d like to do? (Keep in mind charitable giving might be a cash gift but it could also be giving through volunteering.)

If you find it difficult to talk with each other about finances – don’t stress about it. Most couples take many years to get into a groove financially. No one is a financial expert automatically. And Spenders often marry Savers. So, it’s important to keep the lines of communication open.

4.  How Are You Doing Spiritually? 

Do you feel like you are growing spiritually? Do you have any ideas to share that you think would help your spiritual growth? Are you attending any faith services?  Many services are now online which is a great way to experience something new together to help improve your spiritual health.

If you pray, pray together and ask God to bring you closer and more deeply in love with each other. If you have not been praying together – now is a great time to start. For some couples, the idea of praying together might feel awkward. If this is you, remember prayer is simply having a conversation with God who loves you both and wants the best for both of you.

Summary

Make a habit of intentionally checking in with each other to find out how you are doing physically, emotionally. financially and spiritually. Based on what you learn, make any necessary adjustments to keep your marriage relationship fresh and growing in the right direction.

Alice Goldstein

After working for 25 years as a Licensed Professional Counselor, Alice now focuses her time on Life Coaching and writing. She is an “Expert” author for Marriage.com and publishes helpful articles on her own website – SimplyRichLife.com. 

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Posted By The Fashionable Housewife
on August 7, 2020 at 6:16 PM
Filed Under: Relationships & Marriage
Tagged With: Alice Goldstein, communication, counseling, counseling services, counselor, Marriage, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage relationship

About The Fashionable Housewife

Sarah-Jean Ballard is the Editor in Chief of The Fashionable Housewife blog and Founder of Fashionable Media. Married to a sexy Molecular Biologist, housewife, mom to 5, homeschooler, Certified Personal Nutritionist and entrepreneur who's mission is to help moms just like you look and feel GREAT! Other interests include dancing, yoga, positive intactivism, natural birth and breastfeeding support, babywearing, paleo & gluten-free cooking, and promoting an overall healthy lifestyle to all.

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You do not find a happy life. You make it. 

That’s the biggest lesson that grief has taught me. If I just wait around to be happy again, I’ll die sad. 

You don’t get through grief and come out the other side. That’s not how it works. You learn how to grow around it like a tree grows around a rock that’s in the way. You don’t wait for the rock to move. Cause it’s not gonna. 

Choose happy. And then make it happen. 

#choosehappy #joyinthejourney #griefjourney #healingfromtrauma
8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favor 8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favorite. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, @daeinexplains 🥰

The last 20 years with you have been my favorite years on this earth. ❤️ 

If I did anything right in my life, it was when I decided to give my heart to you.  You are my best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my rock, my everything. 

I love you.

#couplegoals #marriedlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #weddingday #marriagegoals #yourestilltheone
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This little guy always asks to help when he sees me cleaning the house, washing the floors, doing laundry, or emptying the dishwasher. That’s what I love about Montessori parenting - it allows kids to do  big jobs and in turn makes them eager to help! 

He was over the moon when we gave him the @lovevery floor mop that actually works! He uses it daily now. The mopping pad is machine washable and you can refill the fluid container on it. I usually just do water and a drop of essential oils because he loves it when everything smells clean! 😜 

Definitely recommend! If you want to grab this mop for your little helper, it’s in the Storyteller Play Kit from Lovevery for 3 year olds. 

LlNK is in my bio to get FREE shipping! 💃🏼

#lovevery #loveverytoddler #loveverypartner #montessoriathome #montessoriplayroom #montessoritoddler
Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hol Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hole. 

Sometimes we outgrown relationships. Sometimes we realize someone else isn’t a good influence on our lives. Sometimes we realize we aren’t a good influence for someone else. Sometimes we need to let things go that aren’t good for us in order to grow. And that’s ok. 

Stop trying to sit at a table you are no longer welcome at. Just be yourself, focus on God, love your family and friends, and the right people will gravitate to you. ✌🏻 

#raisingsaints #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #selflovejourney #growingpains #selfcaresunday
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No fancy electronics, screens, or extra features we don’t need. Just simple, straight forward functions and perfect results everytime. Plus it matches all my @cafeappliances too! 😂👍🏻

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#toasters #kitchenappliances #kitchendesign #kitchendecor #whitekitchen #farmhousekitchen #farmhousestyle #whiteappliances
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The “Steffi” in green are the perfect boots for ushering in spring weather with their delicious vintage leather and worn-in look right out of the box. I love the chunky lug soles and inside zippers to get them on and off easily. 

These are the boots you’ll want to wear again and again. And again. 

Use my coupon code BALLARD20 to get 20% off your order! Find them on www.enjoiya.com

#leatherbooties #enjoiya #italianshoes #realmomstyle #momstyle #momstyletips
All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with the prices of eggs right now! 🤪 🐔 🥚 

Guess it’s ok to be a crazy chicken lady and have a homestead now! 🤣

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Want to learn more about why I’m obsessed with these pots and pans? Visit my blog and search CARAWAY! Or scroll through my feed! 🥳

#homemaker #housewifelife #homestyler #momlife
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Those who haven't experienced loss tell you that "Don’t worry! Things will get better, just focus on the positive!" but people who actually know this grief and what it actually feels like to lose a baby, won’t tell you that. They know this hard road. They understand that unfortunately you don't just “get over it.” 

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You do not find a happy life. You make it. 

That’s the biggest lesson that grief has taught me. If I just wait around to be happy again, I’ll die sad. 

You don’t get through grief and come out the other side. That’s not how it works. You learn how to grow around it like a tree grows around a rock that’s in the way. You don’t wait for the rock to move. Cause it’s not gonna. 

Choose happy. And then make it happen. 

#choosehappy #joyinthejourney #griefjourney #healingfromtrauma
8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favor 8 billion smiles in the world, but his is my favorite. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, @daeinexplains 🥰

The last 20 years with you have been my favorite years on this earth. ❤️ 

If I did anything right in my life, it was when I decided to give my heart to you.  You are my best friend, my soul mate, my better half, my rock, my everything. 

I love you.

#couplegoals #marriedlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #weddingday #marriagegoals #yourestilltheone
Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍ Kids love helping if you just let them!💁🏼‍♀️

This little guy always asks to help when he sees me cleaning the house, washing the floors, doing laundry, or emptying the dishwasher. That’s what I love about Montessori parenting - it allows kids to do  big jobs and in turn makes them eager to help! 

He was over the moon when we gave him the @lovevery floor mop that actually works! He uses it daily now. The mopping pad is machine washable and you can refill the fluid container on it. I usually just do water and a drop of essential oils because he loves it when everything smells clean! 😜 

Definitely recommend! If you want to grab this mop for your little helper, it’s in the Storyteller Play Kit from Lovevery for 3 year olds. 

LlNK is in my bio to get FREE shipping! 💃🏼

#lovevery #loveverytoddler #loveverypartner #montessoriathome #montessoriplayroom #montessoritoddler
Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hol Stop trying to fit your square self in a round hole. 

Sometimes we outgrown relationships. Sometimes we realize someone else isn’t a good influence on our lives. Sometimes we realize we aren’t a good influence for someone else. Sometimes we need to let things go that aren’t good for us in order to grow. And that’s ok. 

Stop trying to sit at a table you are no longer welcome at. Just be yourself, focus on God, love your family and friends, and the right people will gravitate to you. ✌🏻 

#raisingsaints #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #selflovejourney #growingpains #selfcaresunday
When your toaster breaks from a power surge you ta When your toaster breaks from a power surge you take that as a sign that it’s time to upgrade! 🤪

It wasn’t hard to pick a new 4 slice toaster. As soon as I saw this one from @haden_usa I added it to my cart. I bought it from @lordandtaylor because it had the fastest shipping and I didn’t want to wait! 

No fancy electronics, screens, or extra features we don’t need. Just simple, straight forward functions and perfect results everytime. Plus it matches all my @cafeappliances too! 😂👍🏻

What do you think of this 4 slice toaster?! 

#toasters #kitchenappliances #kitchendesign #kitchendecor #whitekitchen #farmhousekitchen #farmhousestyle #whiteappliances
I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @en I’m obsessed with these leather booties from @enjoiya! 💃🏼 

The “Steffi” in green are the perfect boots for ushering in spring weather with their delicious vintage leather and worn-in look right out of the box. I love the chunky lug soles and inside zippers to get them on and off easily. 

These are the boots you’ll want to wear again and again. And again. 

Use my coupon code BALLARD20 to get 20% off your order! Find them on www.enjoiya.com

#leatherbooties #enjoiya #italianshoes #realmomstyle #momstyle #momstyletips
All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with All the poop shoveling doesn’t seem so bad with the prices of eggs right now! 🤪 🐔 🥚 

Guess it’s ok to be a crazy chicken lady and have a homestead now! 🤣

#momlife #crazychickenlady #homesteadlife
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