Marriage is one of the three life stages that human beings go through, from birth, marriage and death. But, in some cases, a marriage can be challenging, especially considering that it involves two people from different backgrounds and upbringings. Sometimes the partner you know might start behaving differently from when you first met causing you pain. This can make the marriage strenuous both to your physical, mental and emotional state bringing up the questions, “Should I walk away? Is it too late to salvage my strained marriage or should I keep trying to fix it?
These questions aren’t easy to answer since there are a lot of factors involved including the kids born in that marriage. Sometimes an external perspective and guidance is what you need. Saving a marriage requires advice from a marriage counselor. But, here are signs to look out for that would tell you if your relationship is worth saving.
Willingness to Converse
Similar to any other relationship a marriage requires conversing though it’s on a much deeper level. All couples go through moments where they are distant and sometimes close but this shouldn’t be a daily thing where you are always distant, especially after arguments. You and your spouse must be able to talk things out in a sober manner. If you can have a mature conversation with fewer arguments then there’s a high chance that you can salvage your marriage. Also, avoid going for days without talking after an argument in the name of a silent treatment since this is harmful.
Rather than ignore and suppress your thoughts and emotions, having a conversation about things that hurt the both of you will clear things out. If you can come together and talk things out openly while listening to each other’s opinions and agree on how to rebuild and repair your ruined relationship that’s a good start.
Not ready to overlook past mistakes
Many couples have a hard time forgetting the offensive things done by their spouses. Some even got into marriage without having healed from childhood traumas bringing unresolved emotions into the marriage. You need to be ready to leave the past behind and learn how to talk and agree about painful subjects without fighting or arguing. If you can stop bringing up the past, doing the silent treatment and calling each other hurtful names or saying hurtful things then that shows love. For you to fix your damaged marriage you should both learn to forgive and heal. If your partner can’t forgive you or herself for mistakes made then you cannot reconcile.
Ready to change
They say change is as good as a rest which is very true. Both you and your partner should be ready to do things differently. Instead of blaming each other for your marriage problems and figure out what needs to change. Be willing and able to see the damage, take responsibility, change and repair your marriage.
For any marriage to work, you both have to and want to do the work. It cannot be that one person is willing to save the marriage and the other person is already tired. Are you both willing to put in the time, effort, energy, and sacrifice to make it work? If your answer is yes, then you are off to a good start. Get a professional, focused and specialized marriage counselor to get you through the challenges you are facing.