When you get married, it is only natural that you want the marriage to last forever. Nobody gets married with the intent of splitting up shortly after or with divorce in mind. However, when a marriage begins to dissolve, it can be shockingly easy to see the signs. As such, you might want to think about what your options are. When you feel like your marriage has run its course, you should look to go to counseling ASAP.
If nothing can be done to save the marriage through counseling, prayer, consultations with your priest or pastor, and lots of prayer and both parties can’t continue to live together because one of them is unwilling to save the marriage, then divorce might be the only option you are left with.
That being said, divorce comes in many forms. You get the ‘dream’ divorce; where you can mediate the issues together and come up with a clear, proven end result. Or you get the ‘drama’ divorce, where you both spend months in court arguing, airing dirty laundry, and making life a misery for one another. Ideally, you want the former – but due to how most people go about handling divorce, the latter is likely.
With that in mind, you should look to focus on divorce mediation once you realize that situation is hopeless. Mediation means having a legal expert stand in as a third party. They can mediate for you both as you put across your terms and counterclaims against one another. This is very useful as it can give you a chance to get your ideas across while being very clear about what you do and do not want from the end result.
Mediation is often a better way to go about divorce. Why, though?
Why is divorce mediation better than an outright divorce?
The main reason to go through the path of divorce mediation is that it typically collects far less collateral damage. You are much less likely to have major fallouts with one another. You are also much more likely to be able to get your point across to one another in a way that can be more moderate. When you are speaking to an ex-partner, emotions are high. You are recently split up, so you are likely still focused on their worst attributes.
This can lead to bitter arguments and emotionally-led decisions that can hurt you both – and any children involved. Instead, mediation has you both take a more methodical and calm approach. You can find it is easier to come to an agreement when a neutral third party can mediate and offer an expert opinion on the fairness and/or realism of any claims being made.
Divorce mediation is useful as it can make sure that you both avoid having to go into a courtroom, too. You can therefore avoid a public show of disgrace, where you both throw mud at one another in a bid to show the deciding committee that your ex-partner is awful.
These kinds of emotive and dramatic courtroom days out help nobody. You should therefore focus on ensuring you can find a means of mediation that works for you. Sitting down with a lawyer is much more likely to produce favorable results than trading insults until your eventual day in court arrives.
It might not be nice to get divorced, but you can make it easier on all parties involved. Stick to the above, and it should be easier to make the improvements you demand.
Indeed, many times a mediation event can even help to repair old wounds and help you both see sense. During mediation, it might become apparent that the problems you both face can be overcome. Sometimes, it takes a third party to be involved in helping you see that your marriage is worth saving in the first place.
So, always consider going down the route of mediation as opposed to outright divorce. During mediation, a solution and compromise can be sought that saves any more grief, suffering, and upset.