Something I Just Can’t Wear…

Here in LA, the weather turned Springy and gorgeous last week, which got me itching for flirty new blouses.  I hit my favorite shops filled with optimism and energy, and I found some fabulous pieces.  But not before coming to terms with a style that just doesn’t look good on me.  Behold:

Anthurium blouse ($88 at Anthropologie.com), Lush appliqued charmeuse top ($38 marked to $18.90 at Nordstrom.com), Coterie of Flowers top ($24.99 at ShopRuche.com)

Three adorable empire-waist tops.  All of which would look awful on me.

You see, when the good Lord was passing out the bosoms, He gave me a heaping helping.  But then when He got around to distributing height, He got stingy.  And if there’s one fashion equation you can take to the bank, it is:

Abundance of bosoms + Lack of height + Empire-waist top = DISASTER

I would say this style makes me look pregnant, but that would be an insult to stylish pregnant ladies everywhere.  No, it’s more like  “hobbit”.  I’m sure you understand why I don’t want to look like a hobbit.

So the other night- after trying on about 45 empire tops -I finally accepted that it’s never going to work.  While a defined natural waist looks best on me, I can also pull off wrap tops, kimonos, drop-waists… I can even rock a tunic!  But the choppiness of a blouse combined with the proportion of the empire cut makes me look like one giant bosom.  Okay- two giant bosoms, but you get the point.

And now that I’ve given up on this style, I feel liberated.  No matter how seductively those empire-waists call to me with their aura of carefree Summer fun, I can walk right by.  Which leaves me free to concentrate on all the fabulous looks that are right for me– the ones that make me look and feel my best.

So how about you?  Is there a style that just doesn’t work for you?  And do you think this can change as your style evolves?

Lucie Amberg is also a contributor to Powder Room Graffiti.