All relationships are difficult to manage, but some are more difficult than others. At the top of the chain has to be marriages. This is a relationship where expectations far exceed those that you’d place on your relationship with your friends and other family members. You’re sharing a life, and there’s very little about that which is easy, even if it does sometimes feel like it.
If you’re married for long enough, you’ll find that you have high periods, and low periods. It’s the low periods that are, of course, the most difficult to manage. While it’s true that many marriages do end in divorce, the majority last the distance (it’s around 39% divorce rate at the moment). So what’s the secret to a long and happy marriage?
Let’s take a look at some secrets to a successful marriage below…
Staying True To Your Word
There are so many disagreements that begin solely because one person has expected the other to do something, and they haven’t done it. As such, one of the basic rules you can follow is that, if you say you’re going to do something, then do it, even if you don’t want to when the time comes. Reliability is one of the best features you can have when it comes to long-term relationships. The other person will trust that you’re trustworthy, a big part of keeping doubts and arguments at bay. Think back to how many arguments have begun because you’ve broken your word (for example, “I’m going out with my friends instead”) and you’ll see how important it can be.
More Than Happiness
Life was never supposed to be a never-ending party, and complete fun, no matter how often advertisers try to convince us that it’s the case. It’s not realistic to think that your life with your partner is always going to be a walk along the beach, holding hands. There’ll be low moments together because there are low moments in life. It’s about appreciating the aspects of your shared lives that aren’t based on happiness. Having a long conversation, supporting each other’s dreams, and the like are all just as important over a longer-term period.
But let’s not lose sight of fun! Indeed, one problem that many couples face is that they don’t get enough of it. Sure, there’s a lot of mundane tasks that need to be taken care of, and everyone’s busy, but it is always possible to put a little bit of fun into your life. It’s worthwhile making a habit of sharing a romantic night together every couple of weeks. A date night can bring so much to your lives! It’ll be just the two of you, enjoying life together without a care in the world. Any married couple who makes time for date night will be much more likely to last the distance and report that it’s one of the biggest secrets to a successful marriage.
People get divorced for all kinds of reasons, but one of the biggest differences between couples who last the distance and ones who get divorced is this: the ones who bailed couldn’t ride out the problems. There’ll be times during your marriage when you have doubts, issues flare up, and so on. It’s a crossroads for your marriage. Instead of taking the fast track to divorce, look at taking part in marriage counseling. You might just find that there is a way out of the problems you’ve been having, thanks to the help of a professional. Years later, after you’ve enjoyed many beautiful moments together, you might just find that it was this that set you down a more positive, loving, and understanding path to having a successful marriage.
Building Each Other Up
Some people are prone to wondering why their partner isn’t doing this thing or the other for their benefit. They never look at what they themselves are doing to improve the relationship and actually make a successful marriage. If you’re going to stay as a loving unit, then you need to learn how to build each other up. It’s a tough old world out there, and it becomes even more problematic if there’s nobody at home who has your back. One of the simplest ways to keep your marriage progressing well is to offer your unconditional support.
Finally, focus on self-improvement. You’ll make your relationship much better if you also work on yourself. If you’re in a happy and positive place within yourself, then you’ll find that it’s easier to manage the complexities of marriage, too. You can improve your circumstances by improving yourself — it’s an underrated action that is one of the biggest secrets to a successful marriage.