Breakups are one of the worse things you’ll experience in life. Some people may experience it only once before finding the right partner, while others have to experience it multiple times before finally getting their happy ending. The moment you decide to enter the world of relationships, you need to understand that some relationships aren’t meant to last forever.
There are moments when life allows you to meet and date the wrong people. Thus, you may then quickly label your failed relationship as a big mistake. But if you look back on your past relationship, you’ll realize that it didn’t work out for several good reasons. So, instead of questioning why it has to end or why you had to meet the wrong people, focus on the valuable life lessons you can get from your breakups, as these will eventually point you to the right person.
Failed relationships and breakups may give you feelings of sorrow, guilt, and uncertainty towards the future, but all these uncomfortable and heartbreaking emotions can give you much wisdom. Here are four important lessons you can learn from your failed relationships.
1. Self-love Is Important
In relationships, some of you may tend to give as much as you can as a way of displaying your love to your partner. But once they leave, all your happiness, confidence, sense of purpose, and self-worth go right out of the door with them. This happens because you’ve attached your happiness and self-worth to that person, that you didn’t realize you already forget to look after yourself.
That’s why self-love and self-care are crucial in a relationship. Don’t rely on someone else to see the value of yourself. If you feel that the other person doesn’t reciprocate the same love, effort, and care for you, let yourself go from that unrequited love. You can check this out, https://eq.irisdating.com/unrequited-love/ and wake up to the reality that you’re an independent person, and you deserve better.
Once you’ve cultivated self-love, by the next time you’ll be in the next relationship, you’ll know what you deserve, and you won’t have to rely on your happiness and self-confidence from your partner. Always remember to never lose your self-respect for the sake of someone else. Take good care of your feelings, and don’t lose yourself when you’re in a relationship.
2. You Can Never Own Anyone
Some people tend to approach their partners as their possessions. While it’s true that relationships require real commitment, that doesn’t mean that you own them, and they’re your possessions. You may belong to each other, but you aren’t each other’s property. Treating your partner as your personal property will only lead you in trying to control them, their habits, their way of thinking, and their behavior. Eventually, this will lead to a breakup because you or the other person will have a hard time showing their true individuality.
Regardless of how long you’ve been in a relationship together, remember that you can never own them. You may influence them, but they’re still not your property. The best thing you can do is honor the fact that they are their own person, and so are you. Communicate with each other and create boundaries that will allow both of you to have your own identity.
3. You Can’t Change A Person
While it’s true that change is inevitable, that doesn’t mean it’ll always happen the way you want it to be. This is true, especially in relationships. You mustn’t expect your partner to change who they are for you. Pressuring your partner to change their behaviors, career choices, lifestyle, or even their decisions can lead to feelings of resentment. Moreover, don’t engage yourself in a relationship if you feel like you’re on a mission to save and change a particular person. That kind of mindset will eventually lead your relationship to fall apart in the long run.
When you love someone, know that you love them for who they are, and not just the idea of who they are or because you think you can change them. If there are things in which you don’t like about your partner, it’s up to you on how you accept them and instead change the way you respond or react to them. And if you still feel desperate to change your partner, ask yourself why you’re dating someone you think needs more fixing?
4. Relationships Will Always Require Teamwork
When you choose to be in a relationship, you need to know that you’re signing up for a teamwork commitment. If it’s only a one-person show, that relationship will eventually fail. Relationships will always require both of you to work together, so your bond will be cultivated deeper and better as years go by. That means both of you need to equally put your effort, time, and energy into ensuring a successful relationship. Additionally, remember that relationship problems are normal, and they can be fixed when both of you decide to work on them.
Relationships may seem too complicated, but they’re actually beautiful. Relationships that last are wonderful, but relationships that fail are still beautiful in their own way. Through them, you can learn valuable life lessons that will help you grow, be a better partner for your next relationship, and bring the best out from each of you.