Many women worry about whether they will be up to the job of being a good mom. Will they be able to take on all the responsibility of looking after a child? Do they have the necessary skills they need to tend to their needs? Have they got the patience to listen to their children and help them develop into fully-fledged adults?
The good news is that you don’t have to be the perfect mom to bring up happy and healthy children. Celebrated psychologist D. W. Winnicott suggested that women only need to be “good enough” moms. What she meant by that was that women should initially be there for their child’s every need when they are a baby, but as they grow older, moms should withdraw and allow their children to explore the world around them on their own terms. In other words, mothers do not need to be at the beck and call of their children forever, to be a good mom. They can take a step back and allow their children to experience the world for himself, unaided.
But perhaps you’re still worried that you won’t be a good mom and will have trouble balancing home life and work life. Here are some signs that you almost certainly will.
You Have “Taken One For The Team”
Being a good mom is about being selfless: forgetting about yourself for long periods of time just to meet the needs of your child. You might not think you have much experience in this matter, but the chances are that you do. If you’re the type of person who has “taken one for the team,” then you’re probably ready to be a mother. Have you ever put yourself in danger to make sure that another person is safe? Have you done something that lost you money, just so that another person could be happy? Do you put the schedules of others ahead of your own? If you, you’re likely good mom material.
You Are Compassionate
One of the requirements to be a gestational carrier is that women are compassionate. Standards are high for choosing a surrogate mother because the health and wellbeing of the baby are paramount. But regular mothers don’t have to meet any requirements to get pregnant and have a child: they’re expected to get on with it.
The reason these standards are interesting is that they reveal the qualities medical professionals think that mothers need to be great parents. That compassion tops the list of desirable qualities in surrogate mothers suggests that it is something that potential moms-to-be, like you, should have. If you are a compassionate person, then you’re likely well on your way to bringing up confident, successful children.
Babies are messy creatures. Not only do they not have control over their bowels, but they also have a habit of regularly being sick. It’s not a job that anybody wants to do, but it’s one that’s necessary when raising a child.
If you don’t mind the mess, then you will definitely be a good mom. You’re probably already prepared to deal with the bodily expulsions of your offspring, no matter how revolting, helping to keep their environment as clean and sanitary as possible.
You Are Secure And Love Yourself
Being a secure person doesn’t mean that you never experience fear. And being a person who loves themselves doesn’t mean that you don’t on occasion wish you’d acted differently. What it does mean, however, is that you’re not perturbed by the daily frustrations and the little things that people say to try and hurt you. You’re bigger than that.
Showing your kids that you are secure and love yourself will help them to do the same when life gets tough. Teachers might be mean, other kids might get rough, but well-adjusted children will be able to bear these challenges without having the joy erased from their lives.
You Accept That You Can’t Control Everything
Raising children is a form of semi-controlled chaos. Kids interpret the world in a very different way to adults, and sometimes parents forget this. They will climb on things, ruin expensive electronics, and throw food around, not believing for a moment that they are doing anything disruptive.
Successful moms-to-be aren’t people who want to control everything. It’s simply not possible when you’re looking after a young child: you never know what they’re going to do next.
Being a good mom is accepting that things are never likely to be perfect. Your house will be a mess, but that’s okay because raising kids is a joy.