Moving on means something different to all of us, and ultimately depends on your situation. When it comes to the end of a long-term relationship, moving on certainly doesn’t mean dating again, or starting a new relationship. That might take a long time if it happens at all, but being single doesn’t mean that you haven’t moved on from your break-up. In the case of divorce, or the end of a meaningful relationship, moving on means letting go of the past, being happy with who you are, and settling into your new life.
Whether the separation was your idea or not, moving on from it can be difficult. It could take time, and you might be very upset for some of it. Moving on shouldn’t be something that you rush, or try to force yourself into, and it is ok to be upset for as long as you need to. But, there are some things that you can do to help.
It’s impossible to move on when you still have the legalities to deal with, and other things to finalize. You might be waiting on the divorce to become official, or for your house to sell. A good solicitor can help, and if possible, a civil relationship with your ex will ease the process. Try to compromise, and reach agreements when you can.
Decide on a Future Relationship
If you have children, your future relationship might be dictated. You’ll have to see each other, or discuss the children from time to time, which can be difficult. If there are no children involved you never have to see your ex again if you don’t want to. But, that choice is between you. You might want to try to remain friendly, especially if you get on well with each other’s families. Reaching an agreement on any future relationships, even if it is just that you will swap Christmas cards, can help you to know where you stand and what to expect.
Telling people that you are separating can be hard. You might feel ashamed or guilty. But, you shouldn’t. Tell your family and friends, and you’ll have people to help and support you, and one of the more unpleasant tasks will be behind you.
Make Changes at Home
Whether you are staying in the family home or not, there’s bound to be plenty of evidence of your relationship in your home. Some people replace their bed, others get rid of everything and start fresh, but some people like to keep the happy memories. Either way, you should make some changes for you. If you’ve always wanted a pink bathroom, this is the time to get it.
Find Something New
Many people find that they don’t know who they are when a long-term relationship ends. You’re not the you that you were before, you’re older, and your experiences have changed you. But, you aren’t the same person as you were in a couple either. So, try some new hobbies, meet some new people, and watch different TV shows to help you get to know the new you.
Do Things Alone
When we’ve been with someone for a long time, it can be hard to do things on your own. You might be frightened of like alone and find even small things overwhelming. But, pushing yourself to be alone, to enjoy time at home alone, and even to travel alone can be liberating.