Much Ado About A Mute Swan – Part 4

MUCH ADO ABOUT A MUTE SWAN: Part 4
“The Coldest Day of December”

The interesting thing about mute swans is that they mate for life. They reach maturity around 2 years of age and that’s when they start scouring the pond for available males and females. The pond turns into a veritable bar scene on a Friday night. Female swans swim by, preening their white feathers, coyly bowing their heads, shunning males who seem to be too interested, and wagging their enormous tails only feet away from the male swans. Male swans seem to go crazy over the females when they wag their tails and quickly swim away, returning a ‘come hither’ glance as they make their escape. The male swans are all about keeping themselves immaculate. They have very elaborate bathing rituals where they can be seen dunking their entire bodies under water, then doing flapping dances to shed the water, then dunking themselves again, and finally smoothing the feathers on their heads by rubbing them backwards against their long backs. I have to admit, the first time I saw this behavior, I thought the swan was either drowning or convulsing and I got really panicked. The male swan also has an elaborate dance he performs in front of the female, and the best male dancer wins the hearts of every female on the pond. But, in swan society, males don’t keep harems, so the best female wins, and then they pair bond for life.

Mute Swan mating dance

Swans are excellent parents. Both the male and the female swan sit on the nest while awaiting their eggs to hatch. Once the cygnets are hatched, both parents take equal care in the feeding and raising of the children. When the cygnets are first hatched, their feathers aren’t thick enough and they tend to catch cold quite easily. But, it’s important they get into the water, even on their first day after hatching, so that they can learn how to forage pond plants, which is their natural food source. If a cygnet is too small and weak, the mother swan will place him on her back and take a swim around the lake.

Prince and Princess never had children, but they built elaborate nests and would sometimes drag small stones into the nest and take turns sitting on them. It was quite a sight to see, but I also felt sorry for them because it became apparent how hard-wired the instinct is to have a next generation of children. They did this nesting ritual for 23 years together.

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Much Ado About A Mute Swan – Part 3

MUCH ADO ABOUT A MUTE SWAN: Part 3
“Breaking and Entering Into My
Honda Mini-Van Is Where I Draw the Line!!!”

So, you’re probably wanting to know if I ended up allowing Princess to move into the guest bedroom. The answer would be an affirmative ‘No’. You see, Princess, as beautiful as she is, was not toilet trained, and that certainly posed a problem when she hung out on my patio for too long. So, I thought allowing her to move into the guest bedroom was a bad idea.

But, that didn’t mean that Princess didn’t attempt to move into the house. One Sunday we were frantically getting ready for a play-date at the Children’s Museum in another town. Princess was walking the yard and knocking on the doors. I put the bowls of food out for her, but she didn’t want to have anything to do with them.

So, when I opened my garage door, Princess immediately ducked in, and I tried to shoo her out. We were late, and she’d have nothing to do with being shoo-ed out. She was royalty, by-golly, and an appointment with the Princess took precedent over a play-date with another 3-year-old. Sheesh!

Princess waddled all around the garage, looking at me like I was trying her patience. I explained to her that Noah had his first play-date with a little girl. I said, “Please, Princess. This little girl is so sweet and her mother also happens to be a good friend. My son’s future dating life hangs in the valence here, please mooovveee!!” Nope, Princess was just getting more and more ticked off. I’m sure to her I sounded like the teacher on Charlie Brown, the one that always says, “wwaaahhh Waaarrhhh Wahhh waah”. Finally, exasperated, I opened the door to my Honda mini-van, hoping that if I climbed into the car, she might go away. Nope, no sooner did the door open than did Princess attempt to fly in! And she almost made it, if it weren’t for her long legs and long wing span. Her 6-foot wing span simply wouldn’t clear the doors. I shut the door as soon as I could for fear she would injure herself, and I yelled, “Noah, quick!!! get the goldfish! make the goldfish trail!”

So, Noah made the Goldfish trail. Princess looked at me like, “Yeah, right, you think that’s going to work, Lady? I cannot be bought for the mere price of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers”. Well, she did succumb to her hunger, and ask much as she would have liked to have us believe that Princesses did not indulge in mere mortal junk-food, she was no longer to control herself. And there she went, out of the garage, following the goldfish cracker trail over into the neighbor’s yard.

And we were able to escape and make the lunch and the play-date, although we kept my friend waiting 15 minutes. When I told my friend what happened, she just kind of looked at me funny. The look on her face was worth a thousand words. She was too polite to say anything and brightly smiled while I recounted my tale, but I could tell that she was thinking, “Yeah right. The dog ate your homework– the swan tried to high-jack your car. Uhhh huhhh.. That’s a good one. Not only is my friend 15 minutes late, she’s also losing her marbles”.

On the drive home, I was trying to think about why Princess had wanted to spend so much time at our house in the past weeks. And luckily I didn’t know at the time that would be the last day I would see Princess healthy.

(Stay tuned for part 4)

- Sarah Polyakov

Much Ado About A Mute Swan – Part 2

MUCH ADO ABOUT A MUTE SWAN: Part 2
…And the Swan Came Back…

My 3-year old son was yelling, “Momma Swan came back! She’s here and she bit my finger!” I came running downstairs, and my son, Noah, had opened the slider when Princess knocked. Noah really liked Princess because well, she looked like an enormous, fluffy down pillow on legs. And what do you do with down pillows when you’re a kid? Well, you body-slam them, of course!!!

Noah just stood there outside, following Princess around the yard, and she was mildly annoyed. Noah gleefully announced, “But Momma, I just try to hug the Momma Swan an’ she bit my finger! See see see!!!” His thumb was red, but Noah was red-cheeked and happy. He looked as if he had just gained membership to some cool, exclusive kid’s club. The swan nipped him and this was cause for celebration!

I took Noah by the hand and explained, “Momma Swan likes us, but she doesn’t like when you sneak up and hug her. It scares her and she bites little fingers when she’s scared. So, let’s just watch her, okay?” He agreed.

That morning, we had some flowers to plant and some yard-clean up to do. Princess was content to stay in our yard and waddle behind us as we planted small marigolds and did our weeding. I kept bowls of food and water out for her, and every so often she’d get bored watching us and would walk over my newly-planted flowers to get back to her snacks. Her favorite treat was actually Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers, as Noah soon found out. Sharing the peanut butter filled pretzels didn’t work out so well. But, she absolutely loved the Cheezits if goldfish crackers weren’t available, and Noah loved to throw them down and watch her nibble them up, one by one. Sometimes he’d leave a little trail of crackers and she’d wattle behind Noah, duck and slurp, duck and slurp, duck and slurp, all around the yard after him.

But, then there was the issue of her mate, Prince. He was all the way across a small street, a grassy clearing, and stuck on the lake near the rickety dock. He would watch us from far away, very longingly, tracing her steps with his eyes. Sometimes he’d make a large honk-snort sound at her, and she’d stop and answer with a louder honk-snort back. I could imagine their conversations: “But hoonnneeyyy you said you’d only be lunching with your best girlfriend for an hour, and you have already been gone two. Please come home and fix me diiinnnerrrr!” And Princess would answer, “But I left plenty of pond weeds in the fridge for you– if you’re lonely, go and find some bro-mance for yourself!!” And then Princess would go about her business.

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Much Ado About A Mute Swan – Part 1

MUCH ADO ABOUT A MUTE SWAN: Part 1
The Swan Cafe

This week, many feathers have been ruffled in Washington State. A new bill, #6255, has been introduced before House and Senate committees, down in our capitol, Olympia, Washington. And this government bill was born from the loneliness of another dear creature, who happens to also possess a bill, specifically, an orange and black one. I testified passionately on him behalf this week before a senate committee, with one wish– to get my billed friend a new mate.

Princess

Specifically, a new Princess. And bill #6255 will be the bill that allows my friend to find love again. But, first, let me start at the beginning of the story. Please, lean a little closer, and I will tell you the story of two beautiful and mated-for-life mute swans, Prince and Princess, who I have come to know and love very well.

It all started in the spring of 2006 when we moved into a home much closer to my parents so that they could help with our older son. The house I chose was a little unconventional– as it was a geodesic dome. But, what really sold me on the house was it’s location. You see, ever since I was four years old, I would lull myself to sleep with the same image every night. We lived in a drab Ohio town at the time and natural beauty was hard to come by. But, as I was falling asleep each night, I would envision the most perfect place my four-year-old mind could conjure up. This place was a placid lake at sunset. There were a few wafting clouds as the sky burst into a symphony of purples, vibrant pinks, and melo-dramatic blues. On this lake there were many reeds with cat tails. And in my mind, I could hear the sounds of ducks settling in for the night. There were so many ducks, and I imagined some of them preening and washing their wings, while others fluttered over the cat tails and created shadows against the sky. All in my mind’s eye, this image gently beckoned me to sleep each night, as my own dreams took flight. And I knew one day that, even though I had never seen such a place in real life, there would come a time when I would see this lake I envisioned, and when I did, I would move heaven and earth to live nearby.

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