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Adding Exercise to Your Life: The Fitness Challenge

February 27, 2010 By

I have a dirty little secret to share with all of you: I don’t exercise. Ever. It’s probably been about five years since I really did anything physical.

With each passing year, however, I know that I should really do something to change the way I behave (I’m a pretty severe workaholic. I bet those of you who know me are surprised I admitted it, but it’s true!)  and take care of my body better… because while I’m kind of thin, I also get winded after a couple of flights of stairs. Not cool and definitely not healthy.

It’s definitely time for a change, and I’m ready to make it. After all, I want to start out the next month right! So, I have a proposition for those of you reading here today: at least one of you has to love working out (or you do it frequently enough to know a lot about it).

I’d love to hear your tips, tricks and favorite workout techniques. Since I know less than nothing (I’ve only ever worked out for unhealthy reasons, and I don’t want to do that again!) about fitness and health, I figured there were no better women to come to about this than our readers and friends here at The Fashionable Housewife.

So, what’s your favorite type of exercise? How do you refuel after you’re done (since I’m pretty sure my dinner of Goldfish and Thin Mints probably isn’t one I should keep pursuing)? When do you find time to fit it into your busy, child-filled schedule? And, more than anything else, how do you stay motivated?

If we can get my tush into gear, I’m hoping that I can prove that even someone who is fitness-averse like me can get into shape and be healthy!

Want to join the challenge and stay updated with what’s going on in my new attempts at fitness? Want to change your lifestyle along with me? Email me at jaime@thefashionablehousewife.com. We can offer each other support and motivation!

To see more of Jaime’s work, check out DenimDebutante.com.

Filed Under: Body Shapes, Health & Fitness Tagged With: , , , ,

The Beauty Double-Bind: Part 3

February 11, 2010 By

Re-Frame How You See Yourself.

In 1993, Shania Twain was still relatively unknown. Producer Mutt Lange had heard her little known-debut album that barely made a splash, but nonetheless, he contacted her. They quickly became close and co-wrote all of the songs that would later become the album “The Woman in Me”. This was the very album that was to make her the highest ranked country female recording artist of all time.

But, at the time, Shania was still an unknown and had to compete with other female country singers who were considered far more beautiful than herself. Shania had an image problem and hardly considered herself beautiful. Shania has said that her legs are too short, and they have too much cellulite. She has said she is hardly photogenic.

In 1993, Mutt Lange hired John Derek (husband of Bo Derek) to construct a new image for Twain as well as produce the music video “Whose Bed have Your Boots Been Under?”.

It has been reported that when John Derek first saw her, he hardly fell at her feet in awe. In fact, his first reaction was to scrutinize her and throw up his hands. He was reported as saying he hardly knew what to do with her ‘deformed nose’ and that her hair made her look all too much like Woody Woodpecker. He chastised Mutt Lang for bringing such a plain singer for him to work with. He was, after all, used to working with True Beauty. (Read: Bo Derek as well as the entire menagerie of blond Barbies he was married to prior to Bo…)

Now, today such a mind-set and such statements about Shania Twain seem preposterous and even unbelievable. I remember when I saw “Whose Bed have Your Boots Been Under” for the first time and I thought Shania Twain was one of the most beautiful and exotic-looking singers I had ever seen.

Once again, just like Ella, had Shania been discouraged easily over another’s harsh assessment of her appearance, she may still be living in Canada and making wages just above the poverty line.

Having had to see myself in a different light since I didn’t fit in to any typical beauty standard, I wanted to share with you some of the empowering things that I have learned for myself.

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The Beauty Double-Bind: Part 2

February 10, 2010 By

Image Courtesy of eHow.com

When Exactly Did We Start to Hate Our Bodies…?

I can precisely pin-point the moment when I started to hate my body. I was twelve years old and my dad was a professor at UNLV, Las Vegas, Nevada. I hadn’t thought much about my appearance until the summer I would turn 13. The first three things to grow on my body were my nose, my arms, and my legs, and they all grew long. I looked like a gangly scarecrow.

But, I wasn’t the one to notice that or point it out. I was just a tom-boy who spent her days riding bikes, swimming in various neighborhood pools, climbing trees or rock walls, running races, playing tag, or skateboarding. I kept my hair short like a boy and I was very involved in the physical world. I had natural confidence because of the things my body did for me. It was strong, it had tons of energy, it took me all of the places I wanted to go, and it allowed me to swim or ride or hike for hours on end. I was having fun in the world just being me.

Then one day, I was crossing the street to go to my girlfriend’s house, and her older brother yelled out to me. “Hey, Big Nose!” he said. I looked up. He continued, “That’s right, Sarah, you have a Big Nose and it’s really ugly. You are the ugliest girl I have ever seen”.

Image Courtesy of sparknotes.com

I was stunned. Those words knocked the air out of my lungs. I felt instantly self-conscious and fell silent.

I hadn’t quite ever thought about it because I wasn’t interested in my appearance. I was having so much fun with just living and just ‘being’ that I hadn’t thought about how I looked and, up until that point, I didn’t really care, either.

I didn’t answer the boy back. I did not stand up for myself. I was terribly ashamed of myself, and of my nose, and I went home.

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The Beauty Double-Bind: Part 1

February 9, 2010 By

Image From the ‘Dove Real Beauty’ Campaign

“When I looked in the mirror, it was like cutting my body up into different pieces and evaluating the pieces, as if it was some sort of thing … I would really focus on different parts and then rip those parts apart, being hypercritical. It was a violent way to look at my body. ” From the book “Sacrificing Ourselves For Love”

There once was a zen master who acquired a new student who was very eager to learn. The new student explained that he wanted to learn all that there was to learn and to know the very secrets of the universe. As the zen master scratched his beard inquisitively, he replied to the student, “Very well. I will teach you all you need to know, and we will have a tea ceremony every day precisely at 4pm, and your presence will be required”.

That sounded fair enough to the student and he was overjoyed to be under the instruction of such a wise man. The zen master and his student had tea precisely every day at 4pm. Each day, the master held a long, gnarled walking stick in his hand. And, each day, after the tea was poured, the master announced, “If you drink the tea that you have been given, I will beat you with this stick”. The student looked terrified. “Conversely, if you do not drink the tea set before you, I will also beat you with the stick”. Now the student WAS terrified. Either way, the student would receive a beating with the master’s stick. This is certainly not what the student had signed up for, nor was it his idea of learning. But, he trusted the master’s plan.

On some days, the student surmised that since he was going to receive a beating, he’d at least enjoy the tea, and he drank up. And he always received a beating after he drank the tea. Other days, he was so anxious about the impending doom, he lost his appetite and didn’t drink the tea. He still received a beating.

One day, the student decided that he was plain fed-up with the way he was being treated and he had the bruises to show for it, too. He thought about walking out on the zen master and finding another teacher, but he just didn’t have the courage to do it. Would he receive an even bigger beating if he left? The student felt stuck and victimized. The unfortunate student could feel his anger welling up in his throat.

That day, as the tea was poured, the student seethed and would not break the master’s gaze. He was attempting to stare the master down. The student eyed the walking stick and braced himself for pain. After the tea was poured, the master reached for his stick, with a dour, serious expression, and raised his stick forebodingly in the air.

In an instant, the student sprang to his feet and wrangled the stick away from the master. He took the stick and broke it in two pieces and threw it away, all before the master’s eyes. All of a sudden, the student filled with intense fear– he had just broken the master’s stick. Now, he was REALLY going to get it.

But, to the student’s surprise, the master’s eyes lighted up and a large smile broke the master’s dour expression. The student looked puzzled as his own fear started to subside. The student didn’t understand why the master would smile. What did it all mean?

The master looked his student in the eye and said, “You are now free to go. You have now learned ALL that you will ever need to learn”. And with that, the student went on his merry way, never to see the zen master again.

The story above, which I have edited from another text, illustrates what is called the “double-bind situation”. A double-bind situation is a situation or circumstance where you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. You’re in a catch 22. You SEEM to be trapped. But, the story of the stick teaches us that, truly, there are no real double-bind situations if we can just FIND THE STICK and have the courage to TAKE IT AWAY.

The current beauty standard that women are supposed to live up to is a classic double-bind situation. You see, we are told to be thin and to have a flat stomach and slender thighs. But, the flat stomach is supposed to be accompanied by a DDD bra size and a round behind. Now, most women who are extremely thin do not have such a body type naturally. Then there are the girls with natural DDD breasts and round behinds. They usually do not have extremely slender thighs and wash-board stomachs. To acquire a flat stomach and slender thighs, they would need to enlist the help of tummy tucks and liposuction. And did I mention that their DDD breasts also have to be perfectly perky, round, and defy gravity all at the same time? Did I mention that the stomach also has to be a six-pack and perfectly muscular? Did I mention that the woman’s behind must be round but cannot have any fatty tissue on it?

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Beauty Can’t Be Measured Merely By Your Dress Size

January 23, 2010 By

One of my favorite singers, bar-none, almost wasn’t. That’s right. Her career almost never got started at the ripe old age of sixteen. She was sent to an audition at a famous singing hall because of the sound of her voice. A voice that was so sweet it sounded like angels carrying spoons of dripping honey. But when she showed up at the audition, the stage manager took one look at her, her dress size, and her face, and exclaimed, “You just won’t do! You don’t have the right look”.

Do you think I am talking from one of the current starlets from Hollywood who has starved herself down to a size zero and had her face re-arranged like notes on a keyboard by Beverly Hills top plastic surgeons? It may sound as if I could be referencing any number of them, but I am not.

The singer I am referencing is the mighty, the angelic, the amazing, the ethereal, the sassy, and the jazzy Ella Fitzgerald. No one can skat like Ella. No one can swoon a toon like Ella. And Ella almost WASN’T because of the way she looked. Now, my caveat here is that this was a multi-ethic panel of gentlemen passing judgment on her, not just one lone producer. Sure, these gentlemen wanted to hear singing like Ella’s, but they were looking for a face and body to accompany it that was more akin to Miss Josephine Baker, who was, at the time, the raging toast of Paris.

Josephine Baker, circa late 1930′s.

Still, as fate would have it, even though a young Ella was attempted to be turned away from that audition, she surmounted the opposition and she SANG. And boy did she sing, and “ain’t we glad she did?” because that night was history in the making, and was a precursor of what was to come. I have sung jazz as a hobby ever since high school, and I can say my number one influence and teacher, by the way of remastered CDs, is Ella Fitzgerald. Though long gone, she impacts everything about my singing in the present.

Ella Fitzgerald, circa 1950′s

This is one of the most striking stories of how beauty can influence, and did influence, our society. When I first read that story of how Ella almost wasn’t, I simply went blue in the face. It was like thinking about the possibility of ‘if the Beatles hadn’t met’, and therefore did not spend long dreary days practicing, in rainy, drab Liverpool, England. The Beatles are my all-time favorite band, and the possibility of them not being, is simply unthinkable.

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MyShape.com for Perfect Fitting Jeans

December 15, 2009 By

This Holiday Season, Eat Your Heart Out
and Still Look Swell, Without Looking ‘Swollen’

Oh my! Is it that time again? All of a sudden I am hearing Perry Como, from the 1958 recording, gently crooning “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” in the background. The kids are all sweetly tucked under fleece blankets on the couch watching holiday specials from years past, and for a new generation little Ralphie’s voice can still be heard from your flat-screen TV asserting, “No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!” as his mother chastises, “But, Ralphie, You’ll shoot your eye out!!” And, so, all the sassy fun begins, another holiday season is in full swing.

santa-pinupThis is the time of year full of joyful caroling, rosy cheeks, snow ball fights, cookie swaps, trees, lights, presents, and Ralphie’s father’s fish-net stocking lamp. How could any ever forget that dear, old girl with only one svelte leg, a glowing skirt for all the world to see, beaming from the living room window of their house, with no torso to boot? Ahh, Ralphie’s father’s pride and joy. But, this is certainly no attire for any sensible or pragmatic woman during this holiday season. And who, pray tell, who want to be Ralphie’s father’s pride and joy? Sure, a secret crush on Ralphie’s father might exist, but I know of no such women myself, and those confessions would generally be best left between a lady and the wall, in my humble opinion!

Recently, Miss Manners was musing about the decline of elegant dress in this society, around the holidays or otherwise. When asked her opinion on the matter by a Gentle Reader, she wisely advised, “Elegance in fashion didn’t decline: It stopped short the day Worth stopped providing wardrobes to the Heroines of Henry James’ novels, who traveled seasonally to Paris for this purpose”. Of course, the ladies in Henry James novels lived in a different era indeed, about two centuries ago, gently lit my candle-light, who spent their days demurely cross-stitching, learning how to play the harp, taking French lessons, and learning how to walk with books perched atop their heads to improve their posture. They also had wealthy fathers who spend endless amounts of money on expensive silks and tailors, who fussed about, making each girl look like a prize for any indiscreetly disposed European count. Might I add, these ladies were also FICTIONAL. Pardon me, I just had to get that small detail out, before continuing.

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Putting Your Best Curves Forward For a Fashionable Plus Sized Holiday

December 14, 2009 By

Say hello to Marie, who is guest posting for us today to share a little insight on plus size fashion!



As plus size fashions become more readily available, we find ourselves with more options, choices, and motivations for wanting to put our best curve forward!  But where does one begin to fashion her curves with the abundance of new found options?

Accentuate the Positive and Flatter the Rest!

What I mean by that?  We all have “problem areas” places on our bodies that we may not necessary love, but we also have curves that we love, whether it be the neck, legs, chest or waist. The trick to flaunting your curves with confidence is dressing to your curves’ potential.

How do you do this?  Well, with a little strategic dressing and these tips and tricks, you can be on your way to putting your best curve forward!

But before you dress to put your best curve forward, it is very important that you lay the right foundation! Foundations are the building blocks to every wardrobe, whether straight or  blessed with curves. The perfect fitting bra and shaper will allow clothes to fall as they should, skimming the curves in every right place, without gathering or bunching on each curve!

An ill-fitting bra can destroy the posture, give you “double cleavage,” and can kill the overall look of your top or dress!

Designers such as Hips and Curves, Elomi, Oola Lingerie, Spanx, Yummie Tummie, and Heavenly Curves all offer perfect foundations that cater specifically to your curves!

SO which area are you looking to accentuate or flatter? Read on for some tips and tricks by region of your curves!

Your arms

If you love them:

kische2Your arms, whether shapely, firm, or loved just as they are, opt for sleeveless tops and cutaways that will bring attention to your lovely limbs, and add interest and depth to your complete look!

  • Opt for a variety of sleeve lengths (sleeveless, short sleeved, and strapless)
  • Do be bold in the season’s latest trends with the one shoulder, sexy cutouts, and sparkly sequined sleeveless numbers!
  • With a great bra for support, be daring in a strapless sparkly number for the holidays!

Top by Kische at Nordstrom

kischeIf they are not your favorite:

Layering strategically is always a great way to detract attention away from your arms! V- necks, patterns and prints can bring attention away from your arms and to you lovely face, collarbone, or wherever you wish to divert attention to, by flattering your favorite asset!

  • Do NOT wear bulky and shapely knits, as this will only detract from your x-factor!
  • Stay away from short sleeve tops that button at the bottom, as it will cut into your arm- only to appear larger
  • Do wear sleeves that skim your arms, in lightweight wools and cottons, that add a soft shape to them.

Top by Kische at Nordstom


Your Chest

wrap dressIf you love them:

Your cleavage is your killer asset and you want to flaunt it with style and class? V-neck tops and dresses are the immediate way to go! Not too low of a V will ooze just enough sex appeal and confidence without over doing it!

  • Do wear interesting necklines that open up your frame without plunging too low.
  • To avoid crossing the line of being risqué, your v-neck should not go lower than your sternum (the bone that is at the top center of your bust line)
  • Surplice tops (tops that criss-cross), Wrap Dresses, and V-neck lines are always a go
  • Empire waist tops and dress add a playful line to your chest without being distracting

If you wish to camouflage:

Being blessed with a full bosom can, to some- bring attention not desired, and this is okay.  So, how do you detract?

  • Avoid button-up blouses as they can at time attract the eye to the center of the chest
  • Opt for boat necks and crew neck, as these can detract the eye from venturing
  • Layering with a cardigan, a tailored jacket to accentuate the curves will add depth to your outfit without hiding your curves
  • Also avoid extremely fitted tops as they tend to maximize the fullness of your chest, instead, opt for tops that gently graze your curves

amanda clothes real blue velvet

R to L: Amanda Uprichard Clothes (real) Blue Velvet


Your Waist

You want to accentuate

Are you little in the middle and you got much back? Playing to your hourglass frame is a cinch!

  • Off the shoulder tops, V-necklines, tailored jackets, and feminine dresses rev up the voluptuous factor
  • On the bottom, don pencil skirts, tailored trousers, and additional variations of a gently fitted clothing will play to your extremely feminine frame
  • Fitted dresses that open up your frame up top, highlight the waist and flatter your curves are sure to win

To create a waist:

It is strategic when it comes to creating a waist, and you will find, either fuller in the middle or straight up and down, that creating a waist can be had for many!

  • Opt for ruched (gathered) pieces that gather either on one side or both to create the illusion of a nipped waist
  • Tailored jackets that are shaped with a waist are a go
  • A dress with shape built in with darting, waist details, or cinching all assist with creating a waistline
  • Shapes such as an A-line skirt coupled with a V-neck top create a visual hourglass frame
  • Steer away from pencil skirts, high-waist pants, and skinny bottoms as they will only bring focus to the fullness  (or lack thereof)

waist

Classic Tunic by Gayla Bentley

Your Thighs and Calves

You wish to flaunt your gams:

You got legs and you know how to use them. Shapely, toned, soft, or supple, you love your legs and want to work with what you have been blessed with. How do you accentuate these lovely legs of yours?

  • Opt for a balance  of clothing! Should you wear a short skirt, it should be no shorter than your fingertips to keep it classy.
  • If you are bearing your legs, do not bear your breast, arms, shoulders… A balance is always key (even if you are going out to party!)
  • If you are taller, opt for mid thigh to knee length to elongate the legs. Should you be on the shorter side, keep your skirts or shorts at mid-thigh to elongate the legs.
  • Boot cut and skinny trousers or jeans give your legs a mile long look

You want to play down:

Whether you feel you have “thunder thighs,” “chicken legs,” or “tree trunks,” playing with certain silhouettes can enhance the curvature of your lovely gams

  • Tights can be your best asset, especially textured tights and opaques, play to the illusion of shape
  • Shapewear, especially those that fall to the knee, will keep your curves smooth and tucked away!
  • With denim, opt for boot cut and steer away from an extreme flare, as this will only emphasize the thickness of your thighs
  • Wide leg trousers are a must and an essential to your wardrobe, these skim your hips, and drape away from your thighs!

These tips and tricks only skim the beginning of putting your best Curve Forward!  Learning how to be confident in your curves becomes easier as you equip yourself with the tools and step out of your comfort zone every now and then, as you may never know what newfound curve suits you!

If you found this post helpful, please rate it below!

Filed Under: Body Shapes, Fashion Advice, Plus Size Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,