There’s so much joy in being a mother and wife, but with that joy sometimes comes the art of “losing yourself”. You went from being a young, vibrant, independent woman who could beckon the attention of any man you very well pleased to the woman who cooks, cleans, changes dirty diapers, and runs a bunch of errands for a living. Where’s the sexy in that?
I found myself in a bit of a depression a few years back. I felt like I just wasn’t myself anymore. I had an extra 35 pounds on me from my second pregnancy; my favorite hairstyle was a ponytail; the favorite outfit was yoga pants; and I had no idea what I liked to do for fun anymore. Who has time for fun?!
When you ask your spouse if you look good, you get back the famous, “of course you do honey”…. Yet when you look at moms like Beyonce, JLo or Victoria Beckham, they make being a wife, mother, and career woman actually look sexy. How is that even possible?!
Change Your Mindset
First things first… sexiness is confidence. Confidence is mental. No matter what size you are, what clothes you have on or what your hair looks like, you should be able to strut your stuff as if you were the sexiest woman on the block. Start with a few personal affirmations to build your confidence. Once you feel great about yourself mentally, you can move on to changing the things you don’t necessarily care for physically. For me that meant going on The Dukan Diet, losing over 30 pounds and getting back into my size 2 jeans. You do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel confident!
Now it’s time to treat yourself which is likely something you don’t often do. Head to a nearby spa that offers treatments like Coolsculpting, Botox, and Laser Hair Removal so that you can get your mini makeover all in one place. You’ll come out of there with fresh skin from head to toe and feeling about ten years younger.
Get a New Hairdo
Ponytails are obviously easier to manage, but not necessarily the most attractive hairstyle to have all the time. So why not switch things up with a new hairdo. You’ll feel so much more confident when you walk out of the salon with a new style. Try to find something that’s different but also easy to care for (after all you do have your hands full). A beautician can help you in selecting a style that suits your face and your lifestyle the best.
Flawless skin… check. New hairstyle…check… now you’ll need some outfits to go with this new you. Set a budget and head on down to your favorite shopping mall for some wardrobe must haves. As you’re picking outfits, try to pick things that are flattering to your figure as opposed to things that are easy to throw on and go. For instance, instead of taking the kids to soccer practice in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, try some leggings and a nice novelty shirt. If you really want to feel sexy, you should invest in some new lingerie as well. (My favorite is Hanky Panky!) Though only you and your husband will see them, you will feel good all day long with a lacy, matching set.
Find Some Interests
What made your spouse fall for you to begin with? Obviously, it wasn’t your ability to cook, clean, or change diapers. Maybe it was your outgoing lifestyle or your interests in life. Try exploring the new you to find things that you like. Sometimes we lose ourselves as we try to care for our family, but now it’s time to get back to loving you. There’s nothing more attractive to a guy than a woman who knows what she likes and isn’t needy. If you need help reconnecting with your spouse, read this article.
So maybe you won’t get the old you back, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun creating a new you. If you feel like you’ve lost your sex appeal or simply lost yourself in the midst of caring for your family, you’re certainly not alone. The only thing life to do is jump back on the horse and try again. Remember start with your mindset and the rest will follow!