Fashion 101

Welcome to your very first class in fashion ladies! Make sure you pay attention and feel free to raise you hand to ask a question!

Your first assignment is to throw out, give away, or sell the following item you have in your wardrobe.

Tapered jeans, relaxed or loose fit jeans, or pants with pleats. I don’t care how much you like them, so do yourself a favor and burn them! Why? Because they are the biggest sin against fashion and you could get arrested by the fashion police for that crime.

Anything that doesn’t fit you! Seriously. Too big, too small, not good! If you are self conscious about your weight, covering it up with oversized clothing will only make you look bigger. Yes ladies, you heard me. You think you are hiding it, but do you really want to look like a 2 person tent?! I didn’t think so. And if it’s too small, that is pretty unflattering too. If you have too much, don’t show it off.

Holiday items. The rule is, if you have an article of clothing that you can only wear once a year on a certain holiday, get rid of it! Sweaters with Christmas trees and elves are ugly and almost always unflattering! And don’t even try to argue that they are “fun“. Again, looking like a 2 person tent is not “fun“…

Anything you still own that you wore in the 70′s or 80′s. It’s not going to come back in style. Ever. Don’t bother keeping and please….don’t wear it! If it was handed down to you from your mother, that in itself should tell you something. It’s not in style anymore. Don’t try to make it work. And no, they are not “classics”….

T-Shirts with writing and words on them. Allright, don’t throw away your Rolling Stones t-shirts or anything, because those are probably special to you, but please don’t wear them out in public! If it’s a band t-shirt, wear it to their concert and around your house, not to the grocery store! T-shirts are almost always shapeless and they lack structure. They will do nothing for your figure and………….. nobody really wants to look at them.

Anything polyester. Pants, coats, shirts, or even worse, pajamas! Please get rid of them. Now if you are following these instructions closely, you would have already thrown them away by now! Didn’t you read about throwing away your 70′s and 80′s clothes? Well that includes the polyester duds!

Old bras. If you’ve been wearing the same bra for more than 2 years, chances are it’s time for a new one! If ‘the girls’ don’t look good, it won’t matter what you wear. Make sure you are wearing a bra that fits you correctly and supports you well. You will be amazed at how different an entire outfit can look just by wearing a different bra. Check back here often and I will let you know where the bra sales are…

Rubber Flip flops. I know, they are comfortable and easy to slip on and off, but they are ugly and they aren’t real shoes. They are what I like to call “pretend shoes”. Wear them around the house, but don’t leave your yard with them. They are plenty of nice looking sandals on this planet without you having to walk around in those cheap, ugly, plastic things!

Now that you have eliminated half of your wardrobe, we can move on to other things! If you want to cry or mourn the loss of your beloved items, do so below in the comment area.

If you have any questions like, “Well what about my such-and-such? Can I keep that?” email me, or leave a comment and I will answer you ASAP!

Later today, read up about fashion do’s and don’ts when it comes to “Skirts“.